Burning Bridges – A Flame of Change
by neoglamorous
Summary: Howl's Moving Castle – Howl x Sophie, rated M for later chapters. Sophie is young again, Calcifer is free and Howl has a heart. But Sophie cannot figure out how much their life has actually changed. What is going on in Howl's mind? References to HoMW!
1. Dust settling

**This is my first Howl's Moving Castle fanfiction, and although I've both read the book and seen the movie, I decided to write based solely on the book. This story begins almost right there where the book left off.**

**Although I have planned the plot further, I would be very glad to recieve suggestions in your reviews of what could happen. To be honest; I'm not a writer..! :D My manuscripts are potentially pointless. But even if you didn't have such suggestions, please; review!**

**And one more thing. English is not my first language, so please excuse me. I've tried my best. Please enjoy my fiction!**

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The door closed with a click. Howl let a deep sigh escape his lips while he leant back against the door as if he had just removed a bunch of enemies from his castle. Fortunately, though, they had been friends, but a bunch they had been.

"I'm glad I no longer feel your feelings," said Calcifer, flickering slightly between the logs in the grate. He was still somewhat puzzled from being free at last, and although he had returned voluntarily, he knew he was extremely lucky. If it hadn't been for Sophie, he would have been stuck with the contract forever.

Sophie had sat down on a stool near the grate, and now she was running her fingers through her red golden hair. She had not yet paid any attention to her transformation. She looked at her hands, which were smooth and slender without any veins showing strongly through the skin. She was really back to her young self. She turned to look at Calcifer, smiling slightly.

"Thank you, Calcifer."

"I should thank you instead," the fire demon said. "Being free feels splendid."

"Where did Michael go?" Howl interrupted.

Sophie raised her sight to Howl and said: "I think I saw him leave with everyone else. He must have gone out with Martha."

Although Sophie wasn't sure, that seemed very likely. Their day had been filled with action, and now that so many things were settled, what could be better than spending some quality time with your darling? Michael had, after all, had a lot to worry about as well, as the Witch of the Waste's curse had been catching up with Howl.

And now Sophie felt strange. Too much had happened just a few hours ago. She had rushed over to the Waste in the seven league boots, confronted the Witch and what else. She had thought that Howl had come to rescue Miss Angorian, but he had obviously come to her rescue instead. Then there had been several hectic moments in the castle as she had broken Howl and Calcifer's contract and Howl had got rid of Miss Angorian, and Prince Justin and Wizard Suliman had got back their true forms.

Confusion was close to what Sophie was feeling. She couldn't help thinking of what had just happened between her and Howl. Back then when Howl's heart had still been out of his chest, he had said he could never truly love anyone. It was obvious, or it seemed to make sense at least. Whereas Michael had said that the day Howl doesn't spend two hours in the bathroom before leaving the castle is the day when he's truly in love. And that was what had just happened. Howl had appeared in the Witch of the Waste's castle all messy and unshaven, which Sophie had taken as a meaning Howl loved Lily Angorian. But apparently he didn't, as Miss Angorian had turned out to be the Witch's fire demon, and was now as dead as the Witch herself. The whole thing puzzled Sophie to a great degree.

And a while ago Howl had even said that they should live happily ever after. He had been holding her hands and looking her in the eyes and he had seemed so sincere. And Sophie had felt so delighted. Now, a few hours later, it all seemed to be a dream, much in the same way as her temporary old age. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to have an unstable heart and aching joints. Now she felt like her thoughts had been falling apart.

Sophie would have wanted to tell Howl to sit down and discuss. There had been a lot of disturbance a while ago, but now she was dying to know what Howl had actually meant. She had a bad feeling that her idea differed from Howl's. She wasn't even certain of what her own idea was, but she knew she had been upset when she had thought Howl had true feelings for Lily Angorian. She also knew that Howl was a real slitherer-outer, and there was probably no point in asking him to elaborate right then.

Sophie sat on the stool turned towards Calcifer and the grate, but she was looking at Howl from the corner of her eye. Howl had moved to stand pretty in much in the middle of the room, with his hands on his hips, looking around thoughtfully. He was ignoring Sophie and Calcifer completely, which resulted in a silent sigh from Sophie's lips, which also went unnoticed by the wizard.

Howl began to whistle casually. Then he turned around on his heels and headed upstairs. Sophie and Calcifer merely looked after him, and then fixed their eyes on each other. Sophie felt confused enough, so she shrugged.

"What's troubling you?" Calcifer asked without sounding remarkably worried. His question sounded almost rhetorical when he busied himself with another log.

Sophie lowered her sight and bit her bottom lip. "I guess it's nothing. Perhaps I'm just exhausted. You must agree that the day has been, eh, hasty."

Calcifer made a gesture, which Sophie couldn't take whether it was a nod or a shrug. It seemed like everything uncomfortable the fire demon had just experienced had been forgotten the moment their contract had been broken. Although Sophie felt like talking to someone—which would rather have been Howl—she fell silent, assuming that Calcifer wouldn't be in the mood for her petty grieves right then.

Sophie felt annoyed at herself. Basically, she shouldn't have been feeling blue. She was back to her normal self, like everyone else, and she had—in spite of being the eldest—for once succeeded in something when she had freed Calcifer and given Howl back his heart. And since they had been hoping for her to do that, everything should have been fine? But obviously, it wasn't.

Sophie turned to look at the grate again. All that could be seen of Calcifer were little faint blue flames between the logs. She sighed and stood up. Her cubby hole felt like an enticing option to head for as she really did feel exhausted. However, she didn't think she could sleep. She wanted to see Howl, if not for a serious conversation then for wishing him a good night, at least.

Mustering up her courage, Sophie walked upstairs, determined to try to make Howl talk. She was prepared not to succeed, but she really wanted to try. On reaching the second floor, she noticed the door to Howl's bedroom was open. She also remembered that Fanny and Mrs. Fairfax had been there with brooms, which could mean that Howl was not in the best mood. In fact he could be very angry if he found out they had killed a spider or something. Sophie felt like backing away.

Before she could turn back to the stairs, Howl came out of his room with a bundle of clothing in his hands. He didn't notice Sophie immediately, but when he did, he looked slightly alarmed and at the speed of light he hid the bundle behind his back.

"Oh, Sophie," he said, trying to sound as casual as he could.

But Sophie had already seen what he had been holding. It was his grey and scarlet suit. Sophie felt like someone had hit her in the stomach—her feelings were a mixture of disappointment and anger. "What exactly are you going to do with _that_?"


	2. A Prompt Judgement

**Tadah~ The second chapter follows quickly. Though this may be the first and last time I can actually update so fast. I'm still looking forward to your reviews and suggestions—a big thank you to those who have already commented here or elsewhere! Please enjoy this chapter!**

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Howl stumbled over his words as he was taken aback by Sophie's fierce attitude. "Eh, I was…"  
"…going to go out wearing that?" Sophie finished his sentence, narrowing her eyes. She was actually so upset that the gesture was a result of trying to prevent tears from falling. She turned around quickly and stomped down the stairs, heading for her cubby hole. Suddenly she no longer wanted to talk with Howl at all.

It took Howl a moment to realize what had actually happened. Of course he had already noticed that Sophie had not been particularly fond of that suit. She would mostly just glare at him whenever he had been about to leave the castle dressed in it. The grey and scarlet suit was certainly like a red rag to a bull to Sophie. In a way it was her own fault—with her tendency to be able to speak life into things, it was her who had made the suit such a lady-killer.

However, the worst thing was that Howl hadn't been able to explain. On the other hand it might not have had much effect. He went down the stairs as well, and then looked around to see where Sophie had gone. He didn't see her, so he assumed she had gone to bed. At least he hadn't heard the door open or close, so he assumed she had not gone out.  
Calcifer burst out from between the logs in the grate. "Which one of you is the hopeless case?"  
Howl took a deep intake of breath and shook his head. Taking his hand to his forehead, he closed his eyes. "I really don't know."

Without saying another word, Howl headed for his room again. He was puzzled, and he really needed time to think. On the other hand he needed to get used to his new feelings. Although he hadn't been particularly cruel without a heart—unlike the Witch of the Waste—some benevolent emotions did feel very unfamiliar. Yet he could not recognize the current bad feeling either.

On reaching his room, he closed the door behind him and just threw himself down on his bed, tossing the grey and scarlet suit aside. No earlier had he even noticed that his room had been cleaned. He frowned at the sight, but once he noticed spiders crawling carefully in the top corners of his room, he could sigh of relief. Perhaps no one had had to die for the cleanliness.

But Howl was not completely relieved, rather far from that. He did not know what exactly he ought to do, but he guessed that Sophie did not trust him. Or perhaps she wanted to, but did not yet know if she could. When Howl thought about it, he didn't even know whether he was trustworthy himself. He couldn't really tell how much he had just changed.

Howl lay still on his bed, eyes closed. For a while he concentrated on listening to the steady beating in his chest. What a strange feeling, something that he had completely forgotten during the years. But the feeling made him feel alive. However, he did not know if the feeling was comfortable at all. Everything had suddenly turned out so complex. As if something was trying to force him to think more. Yet those things did not seem to be solved merely by thinking.

Howl wondered whether Sophie had got so angry that she would leave. Or if she had already left after all? Or if she would do so very early on the following morning? The mere thought brought an aching feeling to Howl's chest. He wanted to prevent such from happening, but he did not know how—it wouldn't probably do any good to try to talk to Sophie right then, but it could be too late in the morning. And Howl did not even know what to say. He only knew that he could not possibly slither out of it unless he wanted to screw everything up.

*

Sophie was sitting on her bed, with her blanket wrapped tightly around her. The trails of tears on her cheeks had already dried up, but crying had made her head hurt. She felt bad, extremely bad. Suddenly she had no longer felt sleepy at all, merely exhausted and upset.

She knew that she had acted on an impulse. She had been quick-tempered. She should have given Howl an opportunity to explain. But on the other hand she had a bad feeling that her worst guesses would be correct. Howl had already seemed to be so very much like the old, heartless Howl. Why would have he changed? Courting must be very entertaining once you notice how talented you are. Why would Howl—a man who obviously loved to be admired—give up such a flattering hobby?

For a while Sophie had considered packing up her property and leaving. She had considered that so many times already, and every time she had felt she had had a reason for it. Yet every time something had thwarted her plans. Right then she did not even know where she could have gone. Most of their guests had already set out for their long ways home. Martha would have been relatively near, but it was possible and likely that she was not home at the moment, but somewhere out with Michael. That thought gave Sophie another reason to worry, until she realized it was not even too late yet. Besides, Michael would barely leave Martha alone out there, and Sophie knew very well that she could trust the boy to take good care of her sister.

Sophie knew she did not want to leave. But she did not want to be exploited either. She still believed that she would have to suffer from being the eldest, but she did not want to suffer that way. She could only wish everything would be fine in the morning. Even if it meant that she was old again, the Witch of the Waste was alive and she did not break Howl and Calcifer's contract… She might get another chance to try to make things go her way. She frowned at the thought, realizing how ridiculous it was. Things going her way? Barely. But she only wished things had not gone so wrong just before she had gone to bed.

*

Sophie woke up in the morning, still not feeling remarkably well. However, she slowly sat up on her bed, stretching out her arms before she stood up and got dressed. She took a peek out of her cubby hole and could not see anyone else but Calcifer asleep on the grate. With quiet and careful steps, she walked over to the fire demon.  
"Calcifer?"  
A flame rose very slowly, then Calcifer opened one eye and looked at Sophie, seeming a bit annoyed at the disturbance.  
"Did Michael return at night?" she asked.  
"Yes, he did. Not much later than you went to bed," the fire demon answered slightly sourly.  
Sophie sighed. "Then…" she began, turning to look at the stairs. "…there is probably someone who will have breakfast, at least."

Sophie went to check out all the cupboards, but she couldn't find enough groceries for nutritious breakfast. With another sigh, she picked up a basket and headed for the door. "I will be back soon," she said and added in a low voice: "I guess…"  
Then, she set out for Market Chipping.

Right after the door had closed, Howl appeared downstairs. He looked even worse than the day before—with hair even messier, with two days' growth of stubble and red-rimmed eyes. "Where did she go?" he asked Calcifer and sat down on the stool near the grate. Calcifer was—again—disturbed by the question. "Grocery-shopping," the fire demon growled quietly.

Howl was relieved to hear that. He seemed to have hope. He remained silent for a while, tapping his fingertips against each other. Then, he leant towards the grate, taking his face relatively close to Calcifer's.  
"Calcifer, I have been thinking," the wizard announced.  
"About time too," Calcifer grumbled in response.  
"For real," Howl said and leant if possible even closer, making the fire demon back away slightly. The strange, slightly ominous expression on the wizard's face made Calcifer get more alert. He was about to tell Howl to stop looking at him so intensely, but Howl was quicker: "You had better help me get rid of my burden."


	3. A Matter of Trust

**My update pace surprises me..! It seems I do have some sort of an inspiration after all. Thank you for the reviews so far—please keep on writing them. And please enjoy this chapter as well!**

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Calcifer swallowed. He looked Howl in the eyes, and then said:"I hate that look."  
Howl smirked, seeming much more mischievous than he probably intended to. "Don't be so anxious!" he said with a reassuring laugh. "It's not bad at all, I promise. Won't _you_ trust me, at least?"  
Calcifer remained silent, glaring at the wizard. He certainly did not like the situation. Howl seemed suspicious, way too suspicious. And he had been exploited enough already. On the other hand he knew Howl fairly well, and he doubted Howl would be so unscrupulous.  
"Alright, alright, I guess I trust you," the fire demon said eventually, rolling his eyes. "But beware if you—"  
"It's alright, Calcifer. Neither I nor you will have to regret it," Howl interrupted. He stood up, swept some ash off his elbows and headed for the stairs. He turned to look at Calcifer over his shoulder. "I will get back to you."

*

Sophie thought she did not probably have to hurry back to the castle. Michael would probably sleep quite late, or at least he had a reason to be tired. On the other hand Sophie had also left quite early. Having bought other groceries, she considered going over to Cesari's. She was neither in the mood for pastries nor for delighting someone in the castle with the bakery's products, but she wanted to see her sister. She also assumed that the bakery would not yet be so crowded at such an early hour. Martha could probably have a moment to talk with her.

Once Sophie stepped inside the sweet-smelling pastry shop, she realized she had been very wrong. There were already several young men queuing for the counter. It seemed like they wanted to catch a glimpse of Sophie's sister before they went to work. Sophie was slightly surprised, though. Martha's spell had worn off and she no longer looked like Lettie. On the other hand Martha was just as beautiful as Lettie, but in case all those young men had fallen in love with Lettie's lovely features—her bright blue eyes and dark hair—Martha would be different. Yet Sophie knew that looks should not matter that much, but all those young men could not know Martha—or Lettie—well at all, unlike Michael, who had not cared about Martha's gradual transformation.

Sophie had to stand on tiptoes in order to see behind the men swarming at the counter. She spotted her sister, and was about to call her name until she realized she did not know whether the customers still took her for Lettie. Therefore, she merely waved her hand, hoping for her sister to notice it eventually. And Martha did notice it after a while, and exclaimed in delight: "Sophie!"

Sophie approached the counter from the left, trying to get close enough so that her sister would hear her normal tone of voice. "Are you too busy or could I have a word with you?" Sophie asked. Martha turned to the other lady bustling around behind the counter: "Carrie, I will be back soon!" She took hold of Sophie's hand and led her to the back of the shop, to the same place where they had been when Sophie had visited her for the first time.

Suddenly Sophie realized that she did not have a real reason to interrupt Martha's work. She had felt like talking to someone, but it was not important enough to occupy her sister's time. She felt slightly ashamed, and thus, she lowered her eyes. "Did you have a nice evening yesterday?" she asked as she did not want to start pouring out her troubles to Martha immediately.

Martha did not seem to notice Sophie's uneasiness. She smiled brightly and replied: "Oh, we had fun. Michael is always so courteous!" She let out a ringing laughter before she got slightly more serious, although the smile hadn't disappeared from her lips. "And we talked about you and Howl."

Sophie raised her eyes to her little sister, seeming confused and questioning. Martha just smiled. "You're both so eccentric," she began. "And don't get me wrong, I don't mean anything bad. I love you for being eccentric! But that seems to make you two attracted to each other." Then she fell silent. Sophie looked at her for a while before she turned her sight away. Martha did not pay any attention to her reaction but went on: "And Michael believes that Howl truly loves you."  
"It's not a matter of belief," Sophie responded in a silent voice. Only then did Martha notice the way Sophie was acting. She got slightly worried, but did not know how she had better react. She took hold of her sister's hands and said in a voice as convincing as she could manage: "Of course it is. Can you ever, _ever_ give or receive such a certain proof of love that it leaves _absolutely_ no doubt? Love is a matter of trust, and when you love someone, you trust that they love you in return in the way they have promised to."

Martha's words confused Sophie to a degree, but she could not help smiling at her little sister giving such a lecture to her. She had not even understood that her troubles showed through so clearly that she wouldn't even have to explain them. She also realized that Martha probably knew what she was speaking of—unlike Sophie, Martha dared to trust and love her dearest whole-heartedly.

"Is something wrong?" Martha asked, having got even more worried due to Sophie's lack of reaction.  
"Nothing," Sophie replied, but then realized that she could not really lie so directly. "Nothing too serious, at least. I guess it's merely my lack of trust in Howl."  
"If we had had this conversation some months ago, I would have taken Howl for a heartless and frightening wizard—" Martha began, but Sophie interrupted: "He was heartless." "Well, maybe. But what I'm trying to say now that I've got to hear a lot about Howl from Michael; I no longer think he's that bad."

Sophie could not say anything, but she merely smiled slightly at Martha's straightforward way of expressing things. She wanted to believe in her little sister's words, but she did not yet know if she could.

"I should let you get back to work," Sophie said then. "And I should probably go back myself, too. Must go make some breakfast."  
Martha smiled in response. "Thank you for visiting me. Please give my regards to Michael!"  
"I will. Thank you for your time. Please come visit us again soon," Sophie replied with a faint smile, waving her hand as she disappeared from the back of the shop.

The conversation with Martha had put Sophie in a slightly better mood, yet she still felt insecure. However, she guessed her sister's words had been wise. She would have to learn to trust Howl; otherwise their budding relationship would be doomed. In a way she was also willing to forget the episode of the previous night. She would just return, cook something for breakfast, go pick up some flowers beyond the purple door… and everything would be alright.

Once Sophie got inside the castle, she looked around cautiously. She could not hear anyone anywhere. She carefully walked further into the room, setting the basket down on the workbench before walking over to Calcifer.  
"Where's Howl?" she whispered, being afraid of the wizard hearing them.  
"No need to whisper, he went out," Calcifer replied in a slightly indifferent manner. "Don't ask where, I have no idea."

Sophie was very disappointed to hear that. Without saying another word, but frowning as she turned her eyes to the stairs, she decided to check out what Howl had worn when he had left. She stomped upstairs and to Howl's bedroom, not caring about being too nosey. If he had not gone out wearing the grey and scarlet suit, it would be in the castle and Sophie would find it. And probably do lord-knows-what to it.

After a while she thought she had turned Howl's bedroom upside down—though as carefully as she could so that Howl would hardly notice she had even been there. She had searched and searched, but to no avail. Sophie sighed, and then headed downstairs. She wanted to go see the bathroom in case the suit would be hanging there, but she knew it was very unlikely. And unfortunately, she had guessed correctly. The suit was nowhere to be found.

Feeling defeated, Sophie walked over to the grate. "Can you remember what Howl was wearing when he left?" she asked Calcifer, sounding rather sad than angry. The fire demon seemed thoughtful for a while, then replied: "No, I cannot. I don't pay attention to such details if I don't have to."

Sophie had probably known it. During the years, Calcifer had seen Howl leave the castle dressed in his grey and scarlet suit countless times, so it was no wonder if the fire demon no longer cared. Suddenly Sophie had forgotten everything about breakfast, flowers and Martha's words. She could feel a lump in her throat. _That repulsive rogue_… Sophie thought as she held back her tears.


	4. The Remains of a Ladykiller

**Yet another update..! I would have posted this one yesterday if the document manager had worked. Then, I watched the movie instead. Howl's Moving Castle is just so amazing, I love the book and the movie so much..!  
Enough of that. Thank you for the reviews. Please enjoy this chapter!**

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Sophie pulled herself together, still feeling quite defeated. However, she came to the conclusion that she should deal with those problems later. She assumed that Michael would wake up soon enough, and he might be really hungry. And although she had some grudges against Howl at the moment, she cared about Michael's welfare.

She picked up a frying pan and returned to the grate, blinking her eyes in order to get her vision clear. Yet she didn't succeed as well as she would have wanted to, her eyes were slightly teary all the time and every now and then a silent sob emerged as if out of nowhere. Sophie could barely believe how sad she had actually gotten. On the other hand she would not even have wanted to admit it to herself—she wanted to be strong, at least stronger than breakable by Howl's annoying whims. Ever since she had arrived at the castle for the first time, she had been offended by the wizard's deeds so many times that she could not even remember them all. She used to be able to shrug it off and probably think that Howl was merely half-grown. But recently it had seemed to change. She had found herself caring about what Howl was doing, getting truly annoyed—she had no longer been able to ignore everything. And she could not completely understand why.

Sophie swallowed and turned her hazy eyes to Calcifer. "Won't you, please?" she asked as she brought the frying pan closer and set it down on the grate. Calcifer grumbled, but did not use any words to object, he just obeyed. Sophie started cooking absent-mindedly, filling the pan with slices of bacon, breaking some eggs, slicing some bread.

She did not notice that Michael had wandered downstairs, completely dressed yet looking very sleepy. "Good morning, Sophie," he said, suppressing a yawn.  
Sophie blinked. She had not heard Michael approach, so she got slightly startled. She glanced at the boy over her shoulder quickly in order not to let him see that she was about to cry. "Good morning."

However, Michael could hear it in Sophie's voice—something was wrong. He tilted his head and examined Sophie silently, and then finally dared to ask: "Is everything alright, Sophie?"

Sophie froze for a moment. Just like Martha had been able to read her like a book, so did Michael as well. And probably everyone else too. Giving in, she turned around and walked over to the workbench with the frying pan, setting it down on a kettle underlay. Michael approached the table as well and picked up a plate but kept his eyes fixed on Sophie. He was certainly waiting for an elaborate answer.

"I… I don't know," Sophie said in a silent voice and sat down. "I just… cannot tell whether or not Howl has changed."  
Michael picked up two slices of bacon and one fried egg with a fork, and then asked: "Would you like him to change?"  
Sophie remained silent for a while before she replied: "I know I cannot and should not try to change him." She turned her eyes to Michael, having a very uncertain expression on her face. "He said we ought to live happily ever after."  
"Yes, he did. We all heard it."  
"I… can hardly believe that he meant it sincerely," Sophie almost whispered and lowered her eyes.  
Michael's fork stopped halfway between the plate and his mouth. "Oh?"  
"Perhaps it's just my… my problem," Sophie stammered. "But… I cannot see why he wouldn't still be the same ladies' man he used to be."  
Michael's eyes stayed fixed on Sophie. He knew he had to choose his words very carefully.  
"I really think he has changed although it doesn't show clearly through."  
Sophie sighed and stood up. "As much as I would like to trust your judgement… I have to be able to trust Howl instead." Having said everything, she headed for the flower shop through the broom cupboard.

Sophie had only stepped to the flower shop when she heard Michael's words: "Oh, good morning, Howl." He had returned. Although Sophie had been about to start preparing the shop for the business day, she was way too curious not to turn around and have a peek at the castle room. However, she did not want to be seen.

Howl remained out of sight for a while, but once he walked further into the room, Sophie recoiled. Contrary to her expectations, the wizard was dressed in a suit she had never seen before. His trousers had thin black and dark grey vertical stripes and surprisingly, they looked very neat although such a pattern could have made any suit resemble nightwear. He had a simple black shirt with a fairly big neckline and a jacket draped over his shoulders. The jacket was also black but it was trimmed with some red band around the pockets and cuffs, and although it was unbuttoned it seemed to be double-breasted. All in all, Howl looked drop-dead gorgeous in it.

Having recovered from the initial shock, it occurred to Sophie that Howl could have disguised the grey and scarlet suit just like he had disguised the blue and silver one. In fact, it seemed almost probable. Otherwise Sophie would most likely have found the grey and scarlet suit somewhere in the castle. She huffed silently and turned around on her heels, going further into the shop to organize things.

*

"Yes, it suits you," Michael responded when Howl inquired his opinion on the suit. Then, Howl got serious.  
"Where is… _she_?" he asked carefully, lowering his voice.  
"She went to the shop."  
"Is she… is she… alright?"  
Michael considered his choice of words again. "Not quite," he replied eventually. The expression on his face was apologetic. "She probably… feels insecure."  
Howl rubbed his chin thoughtfully and frowned slightly. He guessed he knew what the reason behind everything was. "Did she say anything I should know?"  
"She probably…" Michael began, feeling very bad about telling those things to Howl. "…has trouble trusting you."

Howl was not pleased to hear that, but on the other hand he could not blame Michael for it. "Obviously," he muttered, and then rubbed his forehead thoughtfully.

Michael knew what he wanted to say, but he did not know if he should. He was taking in Howl's appearance, wondering how long he had been in the bathroom before he had left. Howl had got cleaned, shaven and he was otherwise tidy too. His hair was blonde. However, he hadn't used remarkably strong fragrances.  
"I guess…" he started and swallowed. "…that all your beauty spells make her think that you are still after someone else."  
Howl turned his sight to Michael. "I want to appear beautiful to Sophie too."  
"I think that… she would accept you just the way you are. Naturally. And I'm sure there is something between the untidy and ugly and the artificially beautiful ends of the spectrum."

Michael had a feeling that he had said too much and probably questioned Howl more than he should have. Besides, he was poking at the things his master was sensitive about. He was almost afraid of irritating Howl, and thus he was surprised when the wizard did not seem to mind too much. Instead, Howl just walked over to the castle door and took hold of the handle. "I'll ponder over that. Now I have some other issues to attend to." After saying so, he left.

*

In the flower shop Sophie heard the castle door close, and therefore she dared to return to the castle room. She turned to look at Michael as she said: "He left again..?" Michael nodded in response. Sophie hurried over to the grate to consult Calcifer.  
"Calcifer, you must be able to see it; was that suit the grey and scarlet one in disguise?"  
"No, it wasn't," the fire demon replied without hesitating.  
"Are you sure?" Sophie demanded.  
"Cross my heart."  
Sophie rolled her eyes at the absurdity of Calcifer's answer, though she could not pay too much attention to it. She was extremely frustrated. "Usch!" she exclaimed. "Then _where_ is that suit?" she expressed a partly rhetorical question without expecting anyone to answer.

Surprisingly, the fire demon's bluish hand emerged from between the logs and made a gesture that slowly swept across the grate.  
"It's here."


	5. A Late Night Longing

**Okay, my update pace seems to be slowing down, thanks to my studies. =_= Fortunately I haven't lost my inspiration. Today I actually went to a library and borrowed Music from the Movies—The Animation Collection as it had the music sheets for the HMC movie theme The Merry-Go-Round Of Life. It's a lovely lovely song, but oh-so-difficult for someone who took piano lessons for a few years before teenage (and who's no longer even at teenage). Oh well, I shall keep practising and... writing every once in a while as well. ^__^; Please enjoy this chapter and review it!**

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The blood froze in Sophie's veins. She stared at Calcifer with an appalled expression on her face. After a moment she leant closer to the grate to take a look at it. Ash, soot, remains of burnt wood… and something metallic. Sophie tilted her head, examining the little round pieces of metal. She could recognize them as the buttons of the grey and scarlet suit.

Feeling dumbfounded, Sophie took a step backward, and then another and another until her calves touched the little stool. She sat down, staring ahead with glassy eyes. Michael got fairly interested as well, and he came closer to the grate to see for himself. He hadn't had the slightest idea of Howl's plans either, and he was surprised. He turned to look at Sophie, who had buried her face in her hands and bent down closer to her knees as if she had been crying.

There was a moment of silence, when Michael did not dare to say anything or even ask whether Sophie was alright. He was just about to put his hand on her shoulder when she broke the silence:  
"I'm awful."  
"You're not, you just—"  
"I am," Sophie insisted. She raised her face from her hands, and it turned out that she had not cried after all. Yet the expression on her face implied that she was very upset at herself.

"I jumped to conclusions too fast," Sophie continued after a short break, still staring absently ahead. "I didn't give him a chance to explain and just gave him a silent treatment."

Michael and Calcifer exchanged looks. Neither one of them knew what to say. Eventually Michael pulled himself together and opened his mouth: "I'm sure everything will be alright." He knew his words were unimportant, but on the other hand he was sure that Howl would not get too upset. He could barely imagine Sophie doing something that Howl could not forgive—considering everything she had already done, from ruining Howl's beauty spells to triggering some parts of the Witch of the Waste's curse.

Sophie kept staring ahead aimlessly, shaking her head a little. Then she turned to Calcifer.  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"You did not ask," Calcifer answered nonchalantly.

Michael felt slightly worried as he could not understand why Sophie was so upset. He could bet his life that Howl had not got particularly mad. He really wanted to say something, but before he could, Sophie sighed deeply and stood up.  
"We'd better go open the shop," she said and headed for the broom cupboard, intent on continuing with the preparations. Michael glanced at Calcifer, but the fire demon seemed calm and collected, and he had obviously taken the issue quite indifferently.  
"Howl never ceases to surprise me," Michael said absently, and then followed Sophie to the shop.

*

It was a very long day. There was a good many of customers, but not as many as when Howl was around. However, trade was satisfactory. Sophie had not been in the best mood, but she had been able to serve customers like she usually did. Some patrons had wondered why old Aunt Jenkins was not working, and Sophie had trouble trying to come up with good excuses. No one had yet recognized her as the same Sophie Hatter who had been working in the hat shop. Sophie was quite happy about that as she did not really crave for her old life.

When they were closing the shop after the business day, Sophie suddenly turned to Michael:  
"Where did Howl go today?"  
Michael stopped fertilizing flowers. As he had knelt down on the floor, he looked up at Sophie.  
"I have no idea," he answered honestly. "He only said he had some issues to attend to. Hmm, I didn't even pay attention to his absence until now. He seems to have been away for the whole day."

Sophie nodded, but didn't say anything. She did not know what to think, she wondered whether everything was alright. She hoped she no longer had a reason to believe Howl had gone out to court someone. Had that been the case, he would most likely have trusted the appeal of the grey and scarlet suit. It was probably something more important, and Sophie hoped it was nothing too serious. She did not want Howl to get into trouble, and she knew she had no reason to trust the wizard not to get into any.

Sophie expected Howl to return for late dinner, but he did not. Sophie got slightly worried, though not merely about Howl's safety. And late in the evening she found herself sitting still and staring out of the castle room window absently. Michael was preoccupied with some spells and Calcifer was not talkative either. Sophie did not want to go to bed until Howl had come home. She felt like talking to him, and she wanted to apologize.

After some time Michael stretched out his arms and yawned aloud. He turned to look at Sophie as he said:  
"I think I'll go to bed. You seem tired as well."  
Sophie sighed silently. "I wonder where he is…"  
Michael looked at Sophie thoughtfully. "It's not that unusual of him to be gone for a long time. I think you should go to bed as well, it's probably no use waiting for him."  
He headed for the stairs and turned to look at Sophie over his shoulder. "Good night."  
Sophie turned her eyes to Michael and gave him a slight, tired smile. "Good night."

She stayed still for some time after Michael had gone, but the room had become so quiet that she had trouble staying awake. No matter how much she would have wanted to see Howl return, she figured out she would merely fall asleep on the chair. Therefore she stood up, went over to the grate to give Calcifer a few logs, and then she retired to her cubby hole.

*

When Sophie woke up in the morning, she instantly remembered Howl. She got up quickly and did not even bother to get dressed first, but hurried to the castle room. The whole castle was rather quiet, and Calcifer was half asleep on the grate. Sophie went over to him and woke him with her question:  
"Did Howl return at night?"  
Calcifer opened his eyes slowly, but surprisingly he didn't seem particularly annoyed. "Yes, he did. And he left again some time ago."  
"What?" Sophie gasped. "Where did he go so early in the morning?"  
Calcifer made his shrug-like gesture. "It's not so early anymore, you slept late. Michael has already gone to gather flowers."

Sophie sat down on the stool, feeling rather miserable. She could not even understand why she had slept so late, but on the other hand she had not slept well the night before. She also wondered why she had not woken up to any noise Howl or Michael had probably caused.

"And Howl did not say anything about where he was going?" she asked after a while although she thought she knew the answer.  
"No, he didn't. He was tired and it seemed to be important," Calcifer replied. Sophie sighed, though the fire demon's relatively elaborate answer surprised her to some degree.

*

The day went by much in the same way as the previous one. The business was satisfactory. After dinner Michael ended up practising his spells again, and Sophie found herself sitting curled up in the chair yet again. She was frustrated, and even more concerned.

Eventually Michael decided to go to bed, but Sophie wanted to wait for Howl. She sat still, combing her fingers absently through her hair. She waited, and waited. After a long time she noticed she was dozing off, and she realized she should give in. Since there was nothing particularly important to do either, she submitted to her fatigue and went to bed.

She fell asleep soon, and then sank into a dream. Life seemed to be normal, and she felt quite happy. Suddenly everything turned for the worse. Nothing seemed to be exactly like she had imagined. There were similar human-like shapes she had seen when Howl had expressed his agony with green slime, but they were more harrowing. The imagery was haunting Sophie, making her toss and turn in her bed. It seemed like the scariest experiences she had had within the past few weeks had come back to cause anguish to her. Although she had faced all those things relatively bravely when she had been awake, the nightmare made her feel extremely anxious. She could neither wake up nor realize it was merely a dream. It was getting worse and worse, she tried to escape but she could not. Her heart began to pound more heavily and her intakes of breath grew louder. She was not alone, and she could sense a real danger nearby, threatening something very precious to her.

"Howl!" Sophie exclaimed as her eyes shot open and she sat up in her bed at the speed of light, gasping for breath. Right then slender arms wrapped around her firmly from behind, startling her slightly.  
"_Hush_, I'm here."


	6. On the Edge of a Dream

**Yo, another update. I think I'd better apologize just in case—proof-reading this felt almost impossible. I did it oh-so-many times, and each time I felt like I hadn't concentrated at all. x_o I'm tired and I just want to post this and I hope it makes sense. So please excuse me, I obviously had a creative day instead of an analytic one.  
And as a side note, I think my HMC fandom must be controlled by the higher powers. Considering that the movie is already five years old, could it even be coincidental that they'll show it in a movie theater as a special showing _on my birthday_? *__*  
Thank you for all the reviews! Although I don't reply to each of them, they all make me very delighted. Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Eventually Sophie got her breath back. She sat still on the bed, staring ahead although there was nothing to see in the darkness. She felt strange and confused, the sudden hug from behind had taken her by surprise and sent shivers down her spine. Once she made a move to turn around, the arms wrapped around her loosened their grip.

"Howl..?" Sophie croaked and realized her throat was awfully dry. She blinked her eyes a few times, having trouble seeing clearly. Although her cubby hole was dark, a faint light coming from somewhere in the castle room dazzled her enough so that the person sitting on the edge of her bed seemed to be nothing but a black silhouette.

Sophie blinked again when she felt a hand touch her shoulder.  
"Did you have a nightmare?"  
Sophie could not really process the actual question, she could only grasp the familiar voice and the fact that Howl really was there, he had returned from wherever he had been and he was talking to her.

Sophie squinted her eyes, but she still could not take in what she saw. The figure in front of her remained shady. She rubbed her eyes carefully and then raised her sight to Howl's face again.  
"Howl… your… hair..?" she gasped with disbelief in her voice.

Howl brushed a black strand of hair away from his eyes and looked at Sophie. The expression on his face was a mixture of an apologetic smile and slightly concerned, questioning confusion.  
"Don't you like it?" Howl asked after a brief silence.

There was a long and awkward silence, during which Sophie and Howl merely stared each other in the eyes. After a while Sophie blinked and realized that she had indeed been asked a question.  
"Oh, yes, I do," she hurried to answer. "But why—"  
She was silenced in the middle of her question by Howl's finger on her lips. Although such a gesture might not have been enough to prevent her from continuing, the determined expression on the wizard's face was. However, he did not seem annoyed.

"You just said it," Howl stated and lowered his hand.  
"Wha—?"  
"The reason why."

Sophie felt dumbfounded. She would have guessed that Howl was still mourning over his late tutor, Mrs. Pentstemmon, but on the other hand he had already dyed his hair fair again shortly afterwards. But just like Mrs. Pentstemmon, Sophie also preferred Howl with black hair. However, she could barely understand—had Howl really given up using a hair dye spell just because she liked his natural hair colour? Sophie thought she had not mentioned it, yet she had probably made enough remarks about Howl's vanity so that the wizard knew her opinion on his habits very well.

As Sophie pondered over the issue, she realized that Howl did not really smell of flowers as much as he usually did, and nor had the bathroom done so in the morning. Nevertheless, it was obvious that Howl had got cleaned and shaven at the least.

"Oh, you were too busy to dye your hair in the morning?" Sophie stated when she thought she had got the hang of things.  
Howl frowned and seemed slightly frustrated, though he apparently swallowed whatever spiteful he had been about to say. Instead, he just rolled his eyes and forced a slight smile onto his lips. "Stubborn as usual."

Sophie felt stupid. She realized she should not have said her last sentence at all. She thought she had actually understood, but it was difficult to believe what Howl had really done. And why.

"You seem exhausted, you should sleep," Howl said after a while. On the other hand he was very tired himself, too, as he had just returned. He had just felt the need to go see Sophie, although he had assumed the girl to be asleep—as she had been until her nightmare had woken her up.

Then Sophie remembered the issue that had been puzzling her for the past few days.  
"Howl… where have you been these few days?"  
Howl remained silent, looking Sophie in the eyes. He reached out his hand to brush some strands of hair away from Sophie face before he said:  
"Let's talk more in the morning. It is very late and I need sleep as well."

Sophie frowned as Howl's answer and attempt to slither out aroused suspicion in her mind. She was just about to open her mouth and utter some words of protest, but before she could begin, Howl had already silenced her by pressing his lips gently against hers. Sophie was taken aback as the sudden gesture made shivers run down her body. However, she did not pull away, partly because she was afraid to.

The kiss was soft and careful, and what it lacked in passion it made up in tenderness. To Sophie it seemed to go on forever and ever. Eventually, however, Howl pulled away and as he avoided looking Sophie in the eyes, he stood up and turned to leave. He stopped and turned his head a little, still avoiding Sophie's gaze but enabling her to see the slight smile on his lips.  
"Good night," he said in a silent tone of voice before he disappeared into the staircase.

Sophie could only stare after Howl as she was too bewildered by the situation. For a while she even thought it had been a dream and she had just woken up. Then she also remembered that she had forgotten the thing she had been the most concerned about—apologizing to Howl. The thought made her slightly restless at first, until she realized that Howl had not really seemed particularly angry a while ago.

Lying down again slowly, Sophie pondered over what had just happened. She and Howl had just shared their first kiss. It was tragicomic in some twisted way. Nonetheless, ever since Howl had said that they ought to live happily ever after, they had not had a proper moment with just the two of them. They could probably have had if Sophie just had not got angry at Howl in vain, and if Howl had not been so busy for the past few days. Either way, having thought about the issue for a while, Sophie realized that everything was probably supposed to happen in the most extraordinary way. She should have known that living with Howl would and had already been far from normal.

*

In the morning Sophie was no longer certain anything had happened at night. She merely felt confused as well as just a bit tired as she proceeded to cook breakfast. However, a brief exchange of words with Calcifer confirmed that Howl had not gone anywhere before Sophie had woken up, and obviously he had not got out of bed either.

Michael came downstairs before the breakfast was ready. He sat down at the table—or the workbench—as he wished Sophie a good morning. Calcifer grumbled slightly under the frying pan, and everything felt ordinary. Sophie began to feel convinced of the nightly incidents being merely an imaginary yet less horrible continuation of her nightmare which she could remember all too well.

Once the breakfast was ready, Sophie turned around with the frying pan in her hand. She walked over to the workbench and set the pan down, and then she raised her sight and flinched. Howl was standing there, right next to the workbench, looking quite tired. And he had obviously exchanged some words with Michael already, but Sophie had neither seen nor heard him come.

"Good morning," Howl said, breaking the silence. Sophie blinked and started moving again, setting down the big wooden spoon she was holding and turning it towards Michael so that the boy could actually take something to eat.  
"Good morning," she replied, feeling almost nervous. She did not know what to think, the previous night felt like a dream and she thought she still owed Howl an apology. Anyhow, she did not want to discuss the issue in front of Michael and Calcifer.

Howl did not seem to have anything at the back of his mind. He smiled casually, sat down as well and proceeded to scoop some scrambled eggs on his plate. He seemed to be happy to have some decent breakfast again.

Sophie could not bring herself to say anything. Instead, she concentrated on eating slowly, settling for having made two men pleased with her cooking.

Michael finished breakfast first, thanked for it and stood up. "I think I could go gather flowers," he said and turned his sight to Howl. "Will you be helping us today?"  
He knew it was possible that Howl still had some other business to attend to, but he also assumed that Howl had come to enjoy such regular work since shop-keeping did not seem to be a dull chore to him.  
Howl swallowed his mouthful of eggs before he said: "I won't be working in the shop anymore."


	7. The Setting Sun

**Update time! Firstly, I really want to thank Xanthe Z. Young for pointing out my mistake with Howl's hair colour. As I'm really trying my best to be as faithful as possible to the original story, I'm trying to correct my mistake in this chapter. I hope it doesn't seem too awkward (although it's not thoroughly dealt with yet), I'm taking some liberties with the details concerning Howl's spells. But this also works as a reminder to all of you; please don't hesitate to point out my mistakes, I can only appreciate it!  
Another thing... I really wonder what happened on the way, I was intent on writing a short oneshot fic and suddenly, it's over seven chapters and ten thousand words long and still incomplete. o__O;****  
Otherwise, thanks for your reviews, please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Howl's answer surprised both Michael and Sophie. However, Michael decided not to make a big deal out of it. Instead, he headed for the door and turned the purple blob down.  
"I'm going anyway," he sang out before leaving the castle.

Sophie sat still, looking after Michael for a while before she turned her eyes slowly to Howl. The wizard was quite preoccupied with the food on his plate and he did not pay any attention to Sophie staring at him. Sophie, on the contrary, was fighting herself in order not to make a fuss. Her common sense was telling her that the issue was not serious—Howl had not, after all, worked in the shop nearly as much as she and Michael had. Yet he had seemed to enjoy it, he had managed to attract customers and made them buy much more than they had intended to, and that must have been complimentary to someone as vain as Howl. But more than anything, the sudden statement had been strange.

Sophie pulled herself together, and tried to express her question in as composed a way as possible.  
"How come?"  
Howl apparently heard and registered the question, but with his mouth full of food at the very moment, he did not answer immediately. Sophie merely looked at him, expecting a reply. She had even let go of the utensils and was now resting her hands in her lap. Howl did not seem to hasten his chewing at all, and it soon began to frustrate Sophie to a great degree. She really had to fight her urge to continue and she could barely hold back her extreme curiosity. She bit her lower lip so that she would not say anything and expose her frustration, but it was taking Howl way too long to swallow.

"I mean… don't you like it? You always seemed to," Sophie said then, being angry with herself for not being able to stay silent, but she could not help continuing. "And… you pulled in customers! You attracted all those girls and…"

Sophie fell silent when Howl turned his eyes to her. Although his eyes had begun to resemble actual eyes instead of glass marbles when he had got his heart back, the gaze boring into Sophie was remarkably cold. It did not seem angry, but Sophie didn't dare to continue anymore. Nevertheless, the situation annoyed her. She would not have wanted to let Howl control her like that purely by looking at her.

Howl grabbed his cup and took a sip of tea, turning his eyes away from Sophie. He kept on sipping at the drink, staring ahead and looking somewhat absent. After a while he said:  
"There is only one girl I need to attract anymore."  
He set his cup down on the table and his long, slender fingers began to roam on the edge of it.  
"Besides, I did notice that the customers started avoiding the shop, at least when I was there. Tampering with their mind did not seem to be that good to business."

Sophie stayed silent. She knew Howl was right, at least about the business. She just had not really considered her words, she had been so confused. And Howl's words had not made it any easier to understand anything.

Suddenly, Howl stood up in haste.  
"Oh, I have to go..!" he stated on his way up the stairs. He returned a moment later, having obviously gone upstairs to pick up his suit jacket. He had already taken hold of the door handle when Sophie stopped him by grabbing him by the sleeve.

"Where are you going _again_?" Sophie asked, looking Howl in the eyes with the most pitiful expression on her face. "We need to talk."

The expression on Howl's face implied that he hated seeing Sophie so upset. He looked at her for a while, biting his lower lip, before he said:  
"I know we do. I promise—I'll be back before sunset. Then we can talk."

Sophie was not particularly pleased with Howl's answer, and she let it show through. Actually she felt like making a scene, but she could prevent herself from doing so. She remembered how Howl had said they could talk in the morning, but on the other hand she was not sure whether the incident had occurred for real.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Howl said then, having noticed how highly explosive the situation was. He hugged Sophie shortly with only one arm wrapped around her, and then he set out for the streets of Market Chipping.

Sighing deeply, Sophie turned around and shuffled along to the grate and sat down on the stool in front of it. Resting her chin on her hands and her elbows on her knees, she turned to look at Calcifer.

"No bathroom, spells wearing off gradually… Something's really happened to him," Calcifer said absently.  
Sophie raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean?"  
"Didn't you notice?" the fire demon asked, sounding unreasonably surprised. "He wouldn't have gone out looking like that a week ago. And didn't you pay attention to his hair? It was no longer black, rather dark brown. The remains of his hair dye spells seem to be the only thing left."

Sophie stared at Calcifer in surprise. She had not noticed anything and she felt slightly stupid, as she thought she should have.  
"How come did you pay some attention?" she asked then, narrowing her eyes slightly. "The other day you could not remember which suit he was wearing when he left."  
"He _always_ wears fine suits," Calcifer defended himself. "Yet it _is_ unusual of him to go out ungroomed!"

Sophie sighed again. Having sat there silently and having looked ahead absently long enough, she proceeded to take care of her daily tasks.

*

It was a fairly busy day in the flower shop. When the rush began to slacken off in the evening, Michael left for Cesari's—though only after Sophie had given him her consent. The boy had insisted on helping Sophie to close the shop, and Sophie had had to assure him that she could do it all alone and would not even mind doing so.

Since Sophie did not have anything else to do, she decided to keep the shop open late. She knew she would just get too frustrated if she went to the castle and merely sat still awaiting Howl. Anyway, after Michael's departure only one customer popped in, and the rest of the evening Sophie spent by polishing the counter and the door handles and sweeping the floor more than necessary.

She began to ponder over the issues she wanted to talk about with Howl. She assumed she had better apologize. It felt awkward, considering that at least Howl had already seemed like nothing special had happened at all. But Sophie wanted to prove that she thought about the things she did, even if it seemed to happen afterwards.

Sophie headed for the door of the shop, intent on locking it up. Before doing so, she opened it and peered at the darkening sky. The sun was a fiery red spot relatively near the horizon, whereas the sky comprised several shades of orange and purple. Sophie turned her eyes east, noticing that over there the sky was already deep dark blue, and she could even spot a few stars.

Having closed the door, Sophie realized it was already very dark in the shop. She took away the broom she had used and then returned to look out of the shop window. Standing still in the dark flower shop, she stared at the horizon. The sun was already partly behind the hills. And Sophie just stood and watched, watched and watched…

Eventually she could no longer see the sun, although the sky was still reddish. She sighed, and then turned around slowly and headed for the castle through the broom cupboard.

Sophie went to give Calcifer a log, and then she sat down on the stool. She was disappointed, and she could not hide it. Although she was not looking at Calcifer, she could sense that the fire demon was looking at her. Yet neither of them uttered a word, and all that could be heard was the faint crackle coming from the grate. Sophie lifted her feet on the stool as well and wrapped her arms around her knees, staring into distance. She would not have wanted to accept it, but it seemed like Howl had gone back on his promise. And surprisingly, she had just remembered everything she would have wanted to discuss.

The silence was broken suddenly by a loud bang as the castle door flew open and hit the wall. Sophie got startled, and she turned her sight to the door, stumbling to her feet. Her eyes widened when she saw Howl tripping over the threshold and tottering inside. He was breathing heavily and he was obviously quite exhausted. Between his intakes of breath, he gasped out:  
"Sophie… I'm home…"


	8. The West Wind of Worry

**October update time! I cannot stop wondering what gives me this much inspiration. I've never written a fanfic this long. I've actually never written anything but oneshots before. And I really wonder when this will actually come to an end. And although I was so busy and tired, I managed to write.  
I guess it's all thanks to Diana Wynne Jones? I've been reading The House of Many Ways lately. I didn't get my hands on it earlier, it seemed to be quite popular in the library.  
Thanks for your reviews again! Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Sophie merely stared at Howl, trying to recover from her fright. Howl closed the door behind him, and then leaned backwards against it, still taking deep intakes of breath.

"_What_ did you just do?" Sophie asked in disbelief, as she could not even guess what Howl had been up to. Anyway, he had managed to startle her big time, which Sophie did not quite approve of.

"I wouldn't have made it in time on foot," Howl explained, walking away from the door to the middle of the room while brushing creases off his clothes. "And since you lost the seven-league boots somewhere in the Waste, I had to resort to raising a wind again. And it was a tough one."

Sophie bit her lower lip. She wondered whether Howl's comment about the seven-league boots was supposed to be an accusing remark. It also reminded her of her eldest child syndrome, and she felt like defending herself with those words until she remembered that Howl would consider it pure nonsense. Which it probably was, and Sophie did know it somewhere at the back of her mind.

Even though Sophie could not be particularly mad at Howl for being just a bit late, she could not resist pointing it out. "You did not quite make it on time anyway," she said, sounding colder than she meant to. Her remark seemed to hit the target as the expression on Howl's face grew disappointed.  
"I was in the west," Howl began, taking a step closer to Sophie. "Please forgive me for miscalculating the sunlight time difference."  
He seemed slightly annoyed by Sophie's words, and he was obviously just trying to hide it. Once Sophie noticed it, she assumed she ought to refrain from picking on Howl. After all, it might spoil any chance to have a serious conversation with him.

Suddenly Sophie felt very uncertain again. She stood still, looking at Howl expectantly. Howl kept doing the same. They were surrounded by an oppressive silence which was only broken by the crackle from the hearth.

"We were supposed to talk?" Howl suggested after a while, although it felt like an eternity. Sophie was reassured to hear the benevolence in his voice, which implied that she had not probably managed to annoy him too much with a single sentence. Before she managed to say anything in response, Howl had already taken hold of her wrist gently and was leading her to the staircase single-mindedly. The gesture took Sophie by surprise, but she did not resist. She would not have wanted anyone else to hear their discussion after all.

On reaching his room, Howl opened the door and let go of Sophie's hand simultaneously, and then held the door open for her. Sophie stepped inside carefully, looking around as if she had never been there before. And she soon came to the conclusion that even though Fanny and Mrs. Fairfax had been there a few days earlier, there was no sign of their visit left. On the other hand she couldn't spot any spider webs, but otherwise pretty much everything was all over the place.

Howl tossed his suit jacket on to the only empty chair and then gestured Sophie to sit down on the bed. Sophie obeyed, and sat down very carefully, almost being afraid of the bed falling apart although she knew it was highly unlikely. She sat neatly on the edge of the bed, resting her hands in her lap. She raised her sight to Howl and let her eyes follow him as he sat down as well. Only then did she notice the things Calcifer had talked about earlier that day. However, Sophie did not think Howl looked particularly untidy or unpresentable. He only had slight stubble and his hair was somewhat messy, but on the other hand he had returned in such haste that even the tidiest hairdo would have become shaggy. Yet he did not have red-rimmed eyes or bags under them, and he was wearing his new, attractive suit. Nevertheless, his hair colour was somewhat strange. Sophie could have sworn it had been black for a while, but now it looked like the black shade had begun to melt away. The tips of his hair were very dark, but the base was lighter, though the transition was smooth. And in fact it was only strange in the sense of being unusual to Howl, but Sophie found that she actually liked it.

Howl noticed Sophie's long stare and he began to feel uneasy.  
"Oh come on, I cannot look that bad!" he moaned after a while, frowning slightly.  
Sophie turned her eyes away quickly, and her cheeks turned red. "It's not that…" Sophie mumbled in response, though she did not want to tell what exactly it was. Nevertheless, Howl felt much better after making Sophie blush, and he could not help grinning a bit at her.

They both fell silent again and merely sat still, Sophie looking down at the floor and Howl looking at Sophie. Suddenly, Sophie opened her mouth and said in a silent voice:  
"I'm sorry."

The apology surprised Howl. He stared at Sophie with a questioning expression on his face, expecting her to elaborate but since she did not, he asked:  
"What for?"

Sophie kept avoiding Howl's gaze. "I… got unreasonably angry with you the other night."  
It was Howl's turn to feel dumbfounded for once. He could barely even understand what Sophie was talking about, until he finally remembered the incident which had occurred later on the day they had defeated the Witch of the Waste. Although he could remember how it had seemed like Sophie had been avoiding him afterwards, Howl had soon forgotten the whole thing and shrugged it off as one of Sophie's outbursts, which were nothing new.

After a while Howl realized that Sophie was probably expecting him to say something. "Eh, let it be," he replied, hoping that they could really leave the matter at that. Being the slitherer-outer, he wasn't fond of discussing such serious issues.

Sophie could hear Howl's reluctance to discuss the issue in his voice, and thus, she did not continue. She remained silent for a while, as if waiting for the previous issue to sink into past before moving on to another. Turning her sight to Howl, she asked:  
"Where have you been lately?"

Howl replied surprisingly fast and without hesitation: "Running royal errands." However, his answer was not elaborate enough to satisfy Sophie's curiosity. She did not say anything but kept staring at Howl in a way that suggested she demanded a thorough explanation.

"The king,.." Howl began, leaning backwards on his hands. "…sees my potential. He insisted on me continuing to work for him. I did not quite want to, and the main reason why I've been away for so long is that I've been having numbing discussions with him."

Howl tilted his head and looked at Sophie with a slightly ridiculing expression on his face. "You must know what discussing with him is like." Then he continued in a more serious way: "I tried several excuses, from a threat to move to the Sultanates of Rashpuht to… pretty much everything, but he was awfully persistent. Eventually I succumbed. But I would not have done so without a profitable contract."

Since Howl fell silent, Sophie dared to open her mouth: "And what will you be doing for him?"  
"I'll be keeping my eye on potential threats to him and his family," Howl replied and closed his eyes, seeming a bit frustrated. "I told him he would have to take care of his political concerns all alone. That's something I really don't want to be involved in. But such villains as the Witch of the Waste are hardly unique. I will obviously be protecting the royal family against such."

Sophie pondered over Howl's words, and then, slowly, started giggling. "I thought you were too cowardly to do anything like that," she said, having restrained herself. Howl frowned at her and seemed somewhat offended. He tried to shrug nonchalantly as he said: "Well, that may be the reason why I refused several times before the king managed to talk me round."

Sophie turned her eyes to the ceiling, and then lowered her sight. She could not help smiling at the issue, as she could not decide whether Howl's cowardice was sweet or just ridiculous. Yet that feature, as well as his tendency to slither out of uncomfortable situations, was so characteristic of Howl that it proved he had not changed too much when he had got his heart back.

Having thought about the issue a bit more, Sophie no longer felt amused. She had suddenly realized that if Howl was to concentrate on such work full-time, it would actually be quite dangerous. And she could not laugh at his cowardice anymore as she realized how concerned she was. The affair with the Witch of the Waste—or actually, Miss Angorian—had been a close call already. Howl and Calcifer could both have died. Suddenly Howl's new job seemed remarkably perilous.

Staring ahead and looking very serious, Sophie sat still on the bed without saying anything. She began to imagine the worst scenarios, most of which were awfully familiar from the nightmare she had had. She did not pay any attention to Howl, who was sitting beside her, looking at her with a worried expression on his face. His imagination had begun to gallop as well, though he felt concerned about different things. Once Sophie's silence became unbearable to him, he took hold of her hands carefully and asked in a very serious voice:  
"Sophie… are you happy here?"


	9. A Sinister Morning

**Oh the agony. This chapter was quite horrible for me to write. I hope it's at least a bit less horrible for you to read. As usual, proof-reading was the most objectionable part. T_T It's very relevant to say that my pace is wavering. I'm very obsessed with having a certain chapter length +– a few hundred words. Now I "exceeded" that length. I'm also obsessed with the cliffhangers I come up with before reaching the end of an incomplete chapter. And also, I've wanted to keep up a reasonable update pace, otherwise I would forget it for weeks. (Oh well, at least I can explain Howl's behaviour by saying that he's supposed to be acting strange.)  
My pace will keep wavering even more, because the next chapter will most likely have more action. At least it should, the actual result depends on my writing skills.  
Thanks for your reviews! Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Sophie blinked at the question. It left her dumbfounded and made her realize that she had not paid much attention to her own happiness.  
"Why so suddenly?" she asked with a questioning expression on her face.

Howl let go of her hands and looked away. "I just want to be sure before it is too late," he said in a silent voice.

Sophie felt utterly confused. Too late? She could not understand what exactly Howl meant. Whatever it was, he took it quite seriously. Sophie did not still know what to say, but she could see that she had better choose her words carefully. She would not even have wondered if an unpleasant answer had resulted in green slime.

"I… initially, I stayed here because Calcifer promised to lift my spell if I broke your contract," Sophie started uncertainly. "Now that both things are settled… I would have no reason to stay if I was not happy, right?" For a while she was proud of her reply as she knew it made sense. Then, she realized it quite did not. She happened to be in both her previous and current residence at the same time, therefore, she would not really have had a place to go had she decided she wanted to leave. She also figured out it was not the time to tell that to Howl. However, she also assumed that if she had really needed a place to stay, either Fanny or her sisters would have arranged some accommodation. But she did not need anything else.

Howl turned his eyes slowly to Sophie. He looked her in the eyes for a while as if to conclude whether she had meant what she had said. Then he lowered his sight again before he said: "I just want to be sure you're not staying just out of sense of responsibility. If you ever feel unhappy… I really wish you would tell me."

Sophie felt like a cold hand had squeezed her heart. Somehow, Howl looked very miserable, much more so than the situation seemed. That made Sophie feel worried as she could not see any obvious reasons for such behaviour. She did not even dare to ask anything since she felt reluctant to point out how strange Howl was being. He might not agree after all, and Sophie did not feel like making a fuss.

Having sat still and silent for some time, Sophie assumed their conversation was over. On the other hand she had managed to apologize, which was probably so far the most important thing. Other things that puzzled her mind were just not to be discussed, at least not yet. Eventually, she stood up and said: "It seems to be about bedtime, you must be tired as well." She made a move to walk to the door, but was stopped by Howl grabbing her by her hand. Sophie turned to look at Howl, who seemed to be somewhat lost with his choice of words.

"Wouldn't you stay here?" Howl asked after a while, still holding Sophie's hand. He turned his pleading eyes up to her, which made Sophie feel almost annoyed as it seemed he was trying to appeal to her feelings. Yet somehow Howl did not seem to be merely pretending.

"I… I don't know…" Sophie answered hesitantly. She actually knew very well that the whole idea looked suspicious to her.  
"No obscenities," Howl said, being serious. "I promise."

Even without naughty grins or winks, Howl's words made Sophie blush furiously. Howl had already succeeded in making her feel idiotic and she did not want to seem more so. She frowned and looked away and said: "Eh… my nightgown is downstairs anyway, so I really need to go there…"  
"Will you come back?" Howl's voice was still very calm and serious, and somehow also very persuasive, as well as very strange. And if not anything else, it was oppressive enough to make Sophie give in. "Alright…" she sighed, and headed out of Howl's bedroom only to change.

On her way back to Howl's room, dressed in her nightgown, Sophie felt slightly nervous. She did not know what exactly made her feel so uncertain, but she tried to shrug it off. On reaching the door, she noticed that Howl had also changed his clothes and was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned towards the door, obviously reading something. The room was illuminated by one candle on the table beside Howl's bed.

Sophie was just about to announce her arrival when Howl set the book he had been reading aside and turned around to look at her. He did not say anything, nor could Sophie read his thoughts by interpreting the expression on his face. Howl pushed the blanket aside which was obviously a gesture made to encourage Sophie to sit, or even better, lie down. And Sophie did so, a bit hesitantly and slowly, and staying close to the edge of the bed. As she lay down, she also turned her back to Howl.

Howl stretched his neck to blow out the candle. Then he lay down as well, pulling the blanket over them. He moved slightly closer to Sophie and then, carefully wrapped one arm around her and nuzzled her neck. "Good night, _cariad_," he whispered, and even before Sophie could freeze at the touch, Howl had already let go of her and backed away so far that he did not touch her at all anymore.

*

Sophie woke by herself in the morning, and she was only about to shift and continue sleeping until she realized where she was. She sat up on the bed, confused, and looked around. Howl was sleeping beside her, on the other side of the bed. And although Sophie felt very strange, nothing seemed to be particularly wrong.

In spite of feeling somewhat sleepy, Sophie got up carefully, trying not to wake Howl up. She succeeded well, and crept out of the room silently. Having closed the door behind her, she went downstairs and headed for her cubby hole to get dressed. The night had left her with confusion, but on the other hand everything had gone well. She had felt very nervous, but obviously in vain.

Before Sophie had even started making breakfast, Michael emerged downstairs. Sophie had no idea when Michael had come home from wherever he had been with Martha, but she assumed it had not been that late since the boy was already awake.

Michael was particularly cheerful, and he started helping Sophie with breakfast. Then, he suggested: "Hey Sophie, I think it would be fair if you had a day off the flower shop."  
Surprised, Sophie turned her sight to Michael, who was just beaming at her. "I would really like to make up for yesterday, I could handle the shop all alone."  
"There is absolutely no need for such," Sophie hurried to say. "Your absence was nothing, really, the evening was so quiet."  
However, Michael was persistent. "I really mean it; you have been so hard-working. Both here in the castle and in the shop. I bet you would do with some time for yourself."

Sophie disagreed; she had had time for herself while she had been working on her daily tasks. She thought it was enough, she had been able to ponder over things which puzzled her and even over things which didn't.

"That sounds almost like you wanted to get rid of me," Sophie chuckled slightly as she fetched a frying pan and headed for the grate to gently wake Calcifer up.  
"Oh no!" Michael exclaimed. "Of course not. I honestly think you would deserve to have an extra day off. Please do consider it." He brought a plate of bacon slices over to the hearth and added: "Besides, the weather seems to be quite lovely. The day is ideal to be spent outside."

Sophie could only agree about the weather, and suddenly she realized how tempting the offer actually was. She came up with several things she could do, which was enough to make her accept Michael's offer. She had—among other things—been considering a journey through the mansion door. Since she no longer had to be afraid of the scarecrow, she was curious to see the surrounding areas of the mansion, and why not the building itself as well. Anyway, she had never explored Vale End thoroughly enough.

However, Sophie really wanted to ask Howl to join her expedition. When the wizard eventually came downstairs to have breakfast, and when Sophie had managed to express her suggestion, she was scarcely surprised to hear a negative answer. Howl was obviously just as disappointed as Sophie, but he could not help it—he had some responsibilities.

After the breakfast Howl disappeared into the bathroom, and Sophie and Michael headed for the door. Michael was going to gather flowers on the fields near the Waste, whereas Sophie had decided to take a short stroll nearby the mansion anyway and probably save a longer expedition for some time when she could actually go with Howl.

"In case I get bored, I will come to the shop," Sophie said to Michael while waiting for the boy to close the door so that she could set out in her direction.  
"Alright, if you really insist," Michael replied. "But remember that you don't really have to!" Having told Sophie to have fun, he closed the castle door. Sophie turned the orange blob down and opened the door again. She was greeted by bright sunlight and the scent of a summer morning, and having admired the sensations for a while, she headed for the drive and towards the mansion gates.

*

Michael returned to the castle soon, with heaps of fresh flowers he had just gathered. Once he opened the door, he saw Howl sitting at the table, reading something. Having walked closer Michael noticed it was a letter, but he restrained his curiosity. Instead he stood still, waiting for Howl to tell what it was about, although he knew it did not necessarily concern him at all.

Much to Michael's delight, Howl raised his sight from the letter soon and sighed: "From the king." Without looking at Michael, he stood up and rubbed his chin, staring at the letter he had left on the table.

"The king has a recreational villa in Vale End. Some duke friend of his has put up there now and, has obviously received some sort of a threat. And the king obviously wants me to attend to the matter," Howl explained, frowned and took his hand to his forehead. It was apparent that he was not pleased.

Howl proceeded to tell Michael everything he had told Sophie on the previous evening. Michael kept nodding while he listened, and having heard all the details, he was quite enthusiastic. Even more so, when Howl said that they would not have to move anywhere from Market Chipping just because of his newly arranged job. Getting to Kingsbury would obviously be Howl's own problem, although he did not have to go there daily. However, he had constructed a practical mail spell for the king, which brought letters from the king's special mail box to theirs in Market Chipping at the speed of light… or magic.

"But what is that exactly about?" Michael asked and nodded towards the letter. "I would think the duke is barely a member of the royal family, and even if he was, wouldn't normal guards be enough to guarantee his safety?"

Howl sighed. "Yes, exactly… but the king is afraid the threat is not actually… _humane_."


	10. A Danger In Daylight

**Woow, an update, sooner than I expected and sooner than... usual? Although I deliberately tried to hurry up 'cos I cannot probably do anything at the weekend. Today I renewed my Howl's Moving Castle book loan—for the third time. I have a strong feeling that it is the only copy of the English version in the library, I'm baaaad for keeping it so long... BUT, I also did something that I should have done long ago already—I went to Amazon-dot-co-dot-uk and ordered the book. Okay, I hadn't done that earlier because I was hunting for a certain reprint. Hopefully it will arrive before I have to return the library book... I cannot write without reference material, although I don't always need it.  
Anyways, I hope I can provide you with some unexpected scenes in the following chapters. I dismissed a bunch of cliché ideas, hopefully all of them. Thank you for your reviews! Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Michael raised his eyebrow, expecting Howl to tell more about the threat the duke had received. Howl, still seeming irritable, picked the letter up again and concentrated on reading for a while. Then, he tossed it on the table and said:  
"D'oh, he could have told me more." He turned on his heels and went upstairs to fetch his jacket. On his way to the castle door he murmured: "I have no choice but to go meet the duke first."  
Being in such haste, Howl did not seem to pay any attention to the fact that the orange blob was already turned down. He merely rushed out, leaving Michael all alone with his questions.

"I sense trouble," Calcifer said, flickering in the grate. Michael nodded absently and walked over to the workbench to take a look at the letter. He did not dare to touch it, mostly because it had not been addressed to him, but he could very well read it without picking it up. Unable to restrain his curiosity, Calcifer also plunged from the grate and stopped to hover over Michael's shoulder, peeking at the paper.

"Not particularly interesting," Michael remarked and turned to look at Calcifer, who was already on his way back to the hearth.  
"I wonder if royal letters ever are," the fire demon said. Michael nodded. "Well, I'll be in the shop. If Howl returns, please tell him to come inform me."

*

Sophie had abandoned the road leading away from the mansion very soon after passing the gates. The road was not particularly big, and there seemed to be nothing remarkably interesting on it. In Vale End everything seemed to be far away from everything.

Sophie had chosen to walk along a small forest path which was taking her farther away from the main road. She realized she had better not go too far or at least not away from the path. In the middle of the forest it could be tricky to try to find the right direction. She was not afraid of getting lost, but she knew it would not be difficult at all.

The ground began to slope upwards, and eventually Sophie reached a slightly steeper slope with rocks scattered all around it. In spite of the rough shapes and sharp edges of the rocks, they made climbing relatively easy if one just was careful enough not to misplace their foot. Sophie was determined enough to climb up to the hillock and therefore she gathered her hems and ascended the slope, slowly but surely.

Having reached the top, she stood up and turned to look in the direction where she had come from. She could spot the roof of their mansion in the middle of the forest, though surrounded by a space with fewer trees. She saw a few other roofs as well, towering high enough to imply that they also belonged to wealthy mansions. Vale End seemed sparsely populated, but at least seen from that hillock most of the residences looked prosperous.

On the other side of the hill the slope was much less steep than the one Sophie had climbed up, and with fewer rocks as well, it seemed to be a safer way down. However, before going anywhere Sophie concentrated on viewing the scenery in the other direction as well. She wondered in which direction Market Chipping would be, as it was in the same valley after all. She tried to look for a glimpse of it, but to no avail.

She was just about to descend when she heard a rustle from behind. She stood still and listened, and before she had turned to look behind, she heard another faint sound which was much closer. Feeling uncomfortable, she turned her head in order to look over her shoulder.

Sophie gave a shriek of fright and terror and took a step back. Unfortunately, she tripped over her hems and fell backwards, landing on her back on the ground. She tried to get up, but she only managed to get herself to lean on her elbows before she realized she was staring in the face of an ugly, man-sized—no, even bigger—insect. Innumerable small eyes were staring into hers intensely, while the creature's feelers were almost touching her face.

Lowering her gaze, Sophie found that the creature's body resembled that of a man, slightly, and it was all purple. Sophie swallowed and raised her sight back to the uncomfortable-looking face. Although the scarecrow had proved rather harmless, it had never seemed as frightening as the monstrous insect standing there, bent threateningly over Sophie.

"You seem to be exactly what I need," the creature said in its rough animal voice. Sophie was surprised to hear it speak in the first place. However, she really hoped the creature was mistaken.

Pulling herself together, in spite of being very afraid, Sophie tried to sound as calm as possible:  
"I doubt that."  
The creature buzzed in response and reached out its hands towards Sophie's chest and neck.  
"You do me a favour and I'll have mercy on you and save your life. You help me get inside a nearby villa, and that's all."  
The insect seemed to be serious. Its hands were groping for Sophie's neckline, and suddenly she was afraid of the creature wanting to strangle her.

No longer did Sophie hesitate. With a sudden movement, she smacked the creature's hands away. But it had already managed to take hold of her clothes, and Sophie heard them rip because of the violent tugs. She clearly managed to surprise the creature, and she took advantage of it again by kicking it in the shin as hard as she could. Two sudden attacks were everything it took to make the creature fall, and then Sophie got her chance to get up. But the creature had not hurt itself badly, and it was getting back onto its feet just as fast as Sophie.

Sophie could not weigh any alternatives. She had to run for her life, and she only had one safe direction to head for. She ran the gentle slope down, and went on deeper into the forest. She barely dared to turn to look behind, but she knew very well that the creature was after her. She could only hope that it would be slow. She was not particularly fast in the rough terrain, and the insect seemed to be running relatively fast. However, it seemed to be unable to fly with the small wings on its back, which was fortunate—otherwise Sophie might not have had any chance at all.

All that Sophie could hear was the crackling from behind and her own heavy breathing. She was getting exhausted, but the insect was persistent. She did not know how long she could keep running; the forest was getting denser and more and more difficult. She had no time to watch out for any obstacles, and therefore tree branches kept scratching her skin. Every now and then her clothes got stuck somewhere, and she merely had to tear them off. The dress she was wearing was pretty much ruined.

Sophie was getting desperate. She felt so exhausted, but she knew the creature was still chasing her. She glanced over her shoulder, and could not see the creature anywhere, but she could hear it was on her track. Gasping for breath, she just kept moving her feet as fast as possible.  
Until suddenly, she was no longer running.

*

At about five o'clock in the afternoon Michael heard Howl return. He could hear through the broom cupboard the wizard talking to Calcifer, and somehow he grew more and more impatient. There were still a few customers in the flower shop, and although Michael would have liked to rush into the castle, he could not do that.

When the last customer was about to leave, Michael saw her out and almost closed the door in the middle of the customer's goodbyes. He had intended to keep the shop open a bit longer, but he had to satisfy his curiosity immediately. Having locked the door, he hurried to the castle, leaving everything in the shop lying about.

The first thing Michael saw when he reached the castle room was Howl sitting on the stool in front of the grate, looking grumpy. Calcifer was looking at Howl, and he did not seem particularly happy either.

"Hello, Howl," Michael started carefully, pretending that he had come in by accident. He swallowed and added: "How did it go? Did the visit clarify anything?"  
"It certainly did," Howl grumbled in response. "I cannot understand why this issue would concern _me_."

Howl stood up and tossed a log to Calcifer. Then he straightened up his back and put his hands on his hips dramatically, turning to Michael.  
"The duke, who comes from somewhere near High Norland, had already been threatened while still at home. They had taken—or mistaken—the threat for an ordinary one of an ordinary assassination, which it obviously was not. But they figured out it would be safer for the duke to travel far, far away in secret, and thus, his loyal friend—our king—had promised to help him and put him up in that villa."

Howl had started walking around the castle room while explaining, also talking with his hands.  
"But it turned out that he did not manage to escape, but he was followed by that… threat. He had obviously managed to anger it somehow, and now… he is running—or hiding—for his life. And no wonder."

As Howl fell silent, Calcifer said in a low voice: "It's a lubbock." Having seen the questioning expression on Michael's face, the fire demon elaborated: "They are very dangerous. Pretty much deadly if they hit you. We have to cooperate to defeat it."

While digesting the brand new information, Michael watched Howl walk around restlessly with a moody frown on his face. Suddenly, a horrifying thought crossed his mind. He went pale and turned to look Howl in the eyes.  
"Sophie… left for a walk in Vale End and… she hasn't yet returned…" Michael gasped out.  
Howl stopped short and turned his sight to Michael, seeming totally upset.  
"_What_ did you just say?"


	11. Obscenity and Despair

**Happy news~ I got my copy of the HMC book already. ^____^ Much sooner than estimated. It's the fairly new reprint with Tim Stevens' illustrations. I really like them, I wanted to order that edition of HMC because I read such a version of House of Many Ways. It surprised me how differently Stevens depicted Howl in those two books, though... since it's Howl, it should not be surprising if his looks change?  
This chapter might have the record for having the fewest speech lines. Otherwise I must say, I just got a work commission yesterday. It has a heavy deadline and it may affect my update pace. Hopefully not, even though I'll most likely have to sell my soul to that project.  
Thanks a lot for your reviews! You keep flattering me so much..! n___n;;; I'm utterly delighted to receive your comments.  
Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Michael did not even get a chance to repeat what he had just said. Howl was already on his way out. He had obviously got a surge of motivation all of a sudden, and he no longer seemed to doubt how the issue concerned him.

At the threshold Howl stopped for a while and turned around.  
"Calcifer, you had better come with me," he said, but did not wait for the fire demon's answer. However, Calcifer did not seem to object—he obviously knew well enough how serious a threat a lubbock was.

Michael rushed upstairs to his room to change his particularly fine shop clothes for something more casual and suitable for whatever there was to come. Having done that at the speed of light, he hurried downstairs and headed for the already closed door. He went out and saw Howl striding fast along the drive with a blue teardrop-like shape hovering above him. Michael had to run after Howl in order to catch up with him.

The expression on Howl's face implied that he was already somewhat mad with worry. Michael did not dare to say anything, but he assumed it would be more efficient if they went separate ways. On the other hand he knew that if he happened to run into the lubbock all alone, he could barely do anything. But they might find Sophie faster if they did not look in the same place.

It seemed like Howl had been unable to concentrate on acting sensibly, or at least he did not seem to know where or how to start. Michael decided to head for the forest, but his announcement fell on deaf ears. Thus, he merely left Howl and Calcifer pondering on the main road and set off for the forests instead.

*

Sophie opened her eyes. For a while she could not see anything but dark, until her eyes got used to the faint light coming from somewhere above. She shifted a little and realized that she was obviously lying on the ground.

She barely dared to move, being afraid of her surroundings. But she could not hear anything in particular, and she felt like she had been alone, wherever she was. Her body ached a lot, especially her head, but she did not think she had encountered severe violence.

Slowly sitting up, Sophie took her hand to her forehead. She could feel a bump, it hurt when she touched it. Either she had hit her head on her own or someone else had done it. She turned to look at her bare hands and arms, which were dusty and full of smaller of bigger scratches. So far she could not spot any real wounds, though.

Sophie raised her sight in order to take a look at the place where she was. She could see ground all around her. There were tree roots sticking out of the soil wall on her left. Getting on her knees, she crawled a bit closer to the source of light and found a hole. Or, to be more precise, it seemed that she was the one in the hole. There was a steep, sandy slope of about six feet, leading up to an opening which obviously led to the forest.

"Oh well," Sophie muttered to herself, looking up thoughtfully. Despite being steep, the slope looked relatively easy to climb. Sophie just could not figure out what had actually happened. Had she been kidnapped and hidden there or had she just run into the hole by herself? The latter seemed more likely. She had probably approached the hole on the ground from the wrong direction, fallen, hit her head and rolled the slope down to the cave-like space. She was not even sure what it was—a bear's nest perhaps, or it could have been an old trap as well.

Then Sophie noticed the condition of her clothes. Her dress had certainly seen its best days, and since the fabric—and not just the seams—had ripped, she could not really patch it up. The torn bust of her dress made her gasp—she did not yet look too indecent, but nevertheless generous enough almost exposing her cleavage. The ruined dress did not bother her as much as her lost chastity. To her disappointment, she could not find a single safety pin in her pockets. That meant that she had to hold the torn edges of the fabric together in order not to show too much. It was not difficult, but it made her own condition seem much worse than it was. Excluding the headache and the scratches here and there, she did not feel particularly unwell. But once she tried to stand up, she had to grimace. Her ankle hurt quite a lot when she tried to put some weigh onto it. She had obviously sprained it when she had fallen. It allowed her to walk carefully, but she could not have run at all.

Sophie crawled up the slope and stopped once her eyes were on the ground level. She looked around, listened to the voices of the forest and waited for the lubbock to appear from somewhere. But then she realized she had probably been unconscious for some time. In case she had really fallen into the hole in the morning or around midday, she had been there for good many hours. It was obviously well past noon already, if the growing shadows in the forest were anything to go by.

She came all the way out of the hole, to sit on the ground in the forest. She had absolutely no idea where she was. The hole was surrounded by relatively thick bushes; therefore she stood up carefully and looked around. She could not see a path or a road anywhere. Not a single building was in sight, there were absolutely no signs of human civilization nearby. She thought she could guess where she had come from, but no direction looked familiar enough. But she knew that she could not stay there either, no one was likely to come look for her just there. Thus, she started walking away, in a direction where she hoped to encounter a road, sooner or later.

*

"You really are way too nervous."  
Calcifer hovered in front of Howl's face, looking at the wizard thoughtfully. Howl had stopped for a while, having been rushing about for quite long. And they had got nowhere. It was like they had been looking for a needle in a haystack, irrespective of whether they were looking for Sophie or the lubbock. They had not caught even a glimpse of either of them.

Howl was standing still, eyes closed, and breathing deeply through his nose. It seemed like he had been trying to concentrate on meditation, though certainly with not much success. The wrinkles on his forehead implied he was particularly anxious. Though mere concentration was not the solution they were looking for. They had no idea what had even happened, and therefore they were still at the point zero.

Howl knew that there were billions of possibilities. His worst nightmares comprised only a fraction of them. However, those nightmares were certainly horrifying enough to make him act without knowing better. He would never forgive himself if he did not do anything but hope for the best while something bad happened.

He could not even remember what the duke had actually asked him to do—whether he was supposed to kill the creature, bring it to the duke alive or just get rid of it, one way or another. On the other hand he did not even care. In case it had touched Sophie, he would most likely slaughter it on sight.

Calcifer was obviously getting a bit frustrated, probably by Howl's inability to concentrate. However, it was not really the wizard's fault that they had not found anything yet. They had many square metres to comb through after all. Unfortunately spells would not have helped much either. There were no simple spells for the task, and even the remotely helpful ones would have been too complicated to carry out, especially in a hurry. They were pretty much compelled to resort to such traditional ways of searching.

Having stood still for a while, Howl started walking again. As Calcifer was still hovering in the air in front of him, he just swept the fire demon aside without saying a word. The fire demon rolled his eyes, but went on following Howl.

Then, Calcifer decided to give Howl a hand seriously. Until then he had been merely following the wizard, preparing himself for a possible attack, but he had not been looking on his own. Therefore, he plunged up towards the tops of the surrounding trees. Howl reacted only by turning to look at the sky. He trusted his old friend enough not to think the fire demon had got fed up and had left him to take care of everything all alone. Every now and then Howl could catch a glimpse of a blue teardrop-like shape dashing about over the forest.

He kept walking slowly, assuming that Calcifer would find him. And very soon did the fire demon appear before his eyes, which took the wizard by surprise. Calcifer pushed his way even closer to Howl's face, making him turn sideways in order to dodge. With Howl's face turned in a new direction, Calcifer said:  
"Yes, that way."

Howl raised his eyebrow, but did not question the fire demon. Besides, in the middle of the forest it barely mattered where they went—each direction seemed equally useless. But in case Calcifer's intuition was telling something, they could as well obey it.

It did not take long until Howl stopped short. About a hundred metres ahead there was something moving between the trees. He stood still and looked while Calcifer hovered over his shoulder and kept looking as well. The shape ahead was hopping lazily here and there and it had not obviously noticed it was being watched. The wings on its back reflected the rays of sunlight which broke into the thick forest. Howl turned to look at Calcifer. Calcifer glanced at him and nodded.

Then, the creature froze. Its sight was riveted to Howl's face for a moment, until it noticed Calcifer. On seeing the fire demon, it got seemingly alarmed. Without hesitating, it turned around and took flight. Howl broke into a run immediately.  
"We must not let it escape!"


	12. A Glimmer of Hope

**Woah, I actually made it! An update! Though I wrote most of this last weekend, in other words before I met my customer and sank into a swamp. Now I really don't know when I can post the next—and most likely, the last—chapter. (Yes, this is coming to an end. I have a vague idea of a sequel.) However, the deadline of my work commission is on November 16th, which basically means that we're talking about a few weeks here.  
In case you wonder why I omitted a scene that probably seemed important, I shall explain. To begin with, I did not want to get too entangled in House of Many Ways. And secondly, this is—above all—a relationship drama and not an adventure story. I hope I made the right choice, with several other things as well.  
I also feel unsure about the ending of this chapter, I had planned to include more scenes in this one, but it would have become too long.  
Thank you for your reviews! Please enjoy this chapter! (Hopefully it's not full of typos and other errors, I found a few amusing ones when proof-reading.)**

* * *

Before long the forest began to frustrate Sophie to a great degree. She had passed innumerable trees, stones, rocks, bushes, hillocks and hollows that all looked the same. So far nothing had seemed familiar enough to imply she was getting closer to their mansion.

For a while she thought how pitiful it would be to die there in the forest. Then, she realized she was being overly dramatic. She had experienced and survived much worse when she had been much older, and she could not let the forest defeat her. She still felt uncomfortable because of the creepy insect, expecting it to be lurking somewhere nearby, but otherwise her surroundings did not seem that frightening at all.

The shadows in the forest had grown long and dark already, and the sky was quite red. It would not take long until the air would begin to cool for the evening. Sophie was still fine, but she knew that spending the night in the forest would be cold even though it was summer. However, she had spent the whole day outside in warmth, dressed in her summer clothes, and she would certainly feel the difference. She doubted she would find the mansion, but she really hoped she would find another warm place.

She stopped and leant against a tree to take a rest. In spite of her sore ankle, she felt relatively strong. As she had been merely walking, she did not feel exhausted. She was slightly thirsty and hungry, but not overly so. She had not been lost for days yet after all.

When Sophie was about to set off again, she was startled by a loud bang. It was so sudden and loud that it made her fall onto her knees and take her hands to cover her ears, although it was already late at that point. She could not locate where the noise had come from, but when she dared to stand up again and remove her hands from covering her ears, she glanced over her shoulder. Somewhere far away a dimming white light shone, forcing its way through the forest. It illuminated the darkening sky in the horizon, got more bluish while it grew dimmer and dimmer until Sophie could barely see it anymore. She assumed it was somehow connected to the bang, and since sound moved slower than light, the initial explosion of some sort had gone unnoticed by her. She really wondered whether it had been an explosion, she could not come up with anything else either, yet on the other hand she could not understand what would have exploded.

Somehow the incident left her with a slightly uncomfortable feeling. She did not meet man-sized insects daily, nor did she hear such bangs often. She began to question whether it was all coincidental. In case it was not, she probably did not want to know what there was still to expect.

She kept walking, but instead of being even relatively as calm and collected as she had been a while ago, she was now glancing around all the time. The thought of spending the night in the forest felt particularly objectionable. But then, at a very desperate moment, she saw a glimmer of hope at last.

Ahead of her, there was a road peeping from between the trees. Feeling utterly delighted, Sophie gathered her hems in her left hand while she was holding her dress bust with the right one and began to trot towards the road as fast as she could. On reaching it, she stopped to ponder whether she ought to go left or right. Neither of the directions seemed familiar enough.

Slowly but surely, frustration reached Sophie again. However, walking along a road, even in the wrong direction, was far better than wandering about in the forest. Therefore, she turned to the left and started walking, hoping that she would find at least something.

It was quite shadowy already, and especially the forest seemed very dark. When Sophie suddenly heard a sound that was certainly getting closer to her, she froze. She stood still and listened, eventually concluding the sounds were coming from a horse's hoofs. As the sounds came closer, she could also hear a faint creaking. Then it did not take long until the horse came to her sight. It was approaching her from the front, pulling a cart that made the creaking. The cart was fully loaded with hay, and there was a small, old, scruffy man sitting there and holding the reins.

Somehow the sight of the cart, the man and the horse spoilt Sophie's idea of Vale End being particularly posh. Though she assumed it was just obvious that mansions might need farm-hands. The man, in spite of looking shabby, seemed very kind in some strange way. It was like his eyes had been smiling with all the surrounding wrinkles, and that encouraged Sophie to approach him.

"Excuse me?" Sophie started in an apologetic tone of voice. "Do you happen to know the way to that… that… mansion which is mostly light-coloured with white stone statues?" She felt stupid for not being able to describe the building any better.

The man looked thoughtful, and then he replied:  
"I'm not quite sure if I understand what you mean, young lady."

Sophie bit her lower lip. She really did not know whether there was anything that distinguished their mansion from all the others in Vale End. But then, a thought came to her mind.  
"The one which was abandoned and in a bad state or repair just recently."

The expression on the man's face changed.  
"Oh, now I might know what you mean. Are you sure you want to go to an abandoned house this late in the evening?"  
"Oh, we have just moved in, so yes, I do. I only got lost while taking a walk."

The man eyed Sophie questioningly. Sophie's condition did not probably look like she had been merely taking a casual stroll since she looked somewhat scruffy as well.  
"I'm going in that direction. Hop in," the man said and pointed to the top of the piles of hay.

Sophie sighed of relief.  
"Oh thank you very much, sir," she said and walked to the back of the cart where it was the easiest to climb. Once she was safely settled on top of the pile, having had trouble getting there, the horse set off again.

*

Michael had also heard the loud bang, but contrary to Sophie, he had been much closer to it. He could not quite locate it either, but the light guided him as he broke into a run and rushed in that direction. He had a very strong feeling it was somehow related to the issue. Although he did not know much about lubbocks, he assumed the bang had been caused by nothing less than magic.

Once the light had thoroughly faded away, it was difficult to keep the course towards its source. But fortunately, Michael did not have to survive without a fixed point for too long. He soon saw a familiar shape standing in the forest—or actually, in an opening in the middle of the forest—with another familiar shape hovering low in the air.

"Howl! Calcifer!" Michael exclaimed as he approached the wizard and the fire demon. On reaching the opening, he noticed it was all black. A small part of the forest was totally burnt down. Michael stopped, looked around with a questioning expression on his face, and then turned his sight to Howl.  
"What happened?"

Howl raised his hand and held it still with his palm turned upwards. Calcifer moved to hover just a bit above the raised hand. It was somehow obvious that the fire demon was quite exhausted. For a while neither of them uttered a word.

"The lubbock is gone," Howl said after a while, looking at Calcifer instead of Michael. His voice was quite serious, and it made Michael feel worried.  
"And...?" the boy asked carefully.

With a quick movement of his left hand, Howl opened his fist and was suddenly holding a thin, shiny string between his fingers in front of Michael's face. Having taken a closer look, Michael realized it was obviously a broken, silvery necklace. He turned his surprised eyes to Howl again, expecting him to explain.

"This," the wizard began in a low tone of voice. "…is Sophie's."

Michael blinked and gasped. He did not know which conclusion to draw from such a piece of evidence, but it seemed serious.  
"Did… did the lubbock have it?" he asked, not knowing what else he could have said either. He got a nod in response.

There was a moment of silence, which was broken by Calcifer.  
"I need to return to the castle. Must get some wood..."  
Howl nodded once again, but did not look at the fire demon. Calcifer did not waste time anymore. He only wished them good luck quickly, and then left, heading back for the mansion.

Taking the broken necklace into his pocket, Howl closed his eyes and said:  
"We must find Sophie."  
Michael, whose eyes had been following the fire demon drift away, turned to look at Howl.  
"Yes. We really do," he hurried to answer. He was very worried, hoping for the best and expecting the worst. And he did not wait for Howl to make a move, but he merely left, heading for yet another new direction.

Michael had expected that he would find a road soon enough, and so he did. He intended to walk along it for some time and maybe return to the forest when he was farther away from the mansion. On the other hand it had got fairly dark already, and it would be very difficult to rake through the forest. It would be so easy to miss something important.

Eventually he reached a crossing, and he stopped to think about which direction to choose. Before he had made up his mind, he saw a horse with a full load of hay approaching. Michael turned his attention to the old man behind the horse. He walked closer, which the man obviously took for a sign that he had something to say since he pulled on the reins, making the horse stop.

"Excuse me sir," Michael began. "Can you remember seeing a young lady with a red gold hair somewhere?"


	13. The Ways of a Wizard

**Ding!  
My work commission is drawing to a close, and so is this fanfic! Or to be precise, this is the end.  
Since I couldn't update for a few weeks, this chapter is about twice as long as the first ones have been. Or maybe that's just coincidental. I considered splitting up this chapter, but I didn't think it would have made two strong, independent ones. And well, maybe a long chapter is like, a grand finale?  
It was difficult for sure; I knew what would happen, but putting that into words—and beautiful ones—was a pain. I hope I succeeded in making a pleasant ending without making it awkward or shoddy or inept. I spent quite a while touching it up.  
I really want to thank you all for reading and reviewing! Thank you for your encouraging words! And even after a long time, when this fic has become rather old, please don't refrain from commenting just because of that! It will never be too late to comment. ^___^ And thank you for pointing out my mistakes, all the corrections have made this a better fic!  
With your reviews you've given me an idea of a new fic, but I really have to develop it much further. When I started writing the first chapter of this fiction, I thought I'd make a oneshot of about 4000 words. Then, when I had posted the first chapter and realized it wouldn't be a oneshot, I thought it'd be about four chapters long. And then it exploded? I had better calculate that in the future. n_n;  
Thank you again! I hope you've enjoyed the whole story so far, please enjoy this last chapter as well!**

* * *

Sophie had been lying on top of the pile of hay, looking at the sky instead of where they were going. She had been on the brink of dozing off, the lift felt so comfortable. However, when the cart suddenly came to a halt, she woke up to the current situation again.

She was about to gasp when she heard a familiar voice coming from somewhere below. She flipped herself around and crawled closer to the edge to see whether she had heard correctly.

"Michael!" Sophie exclaimed in delight, obviously breaking in on the old man's answer. Both the man and Michael turned to look up, just in time to see Sophie climbing down from the cart.

"Sophie!" Michael exclaimed as well and walked closer to her, taking hold of her hands. "We were so worried! Are you alright?"

Sophie smiled at Michael in a reassuring way and pulled her left hand away to hold her torn dress bust. "Pretty much yes," she answered, thinking that all the details would not be so important. Besides, she felt more than fine now that she had found Michael—or Michael had found her.

The old man was looking at them with a questioning expression on his face. Once Sophie noticed that, he turned to him and said: "Thank you so much for your help!"  
The man rubbed his chin and said: "So you are still going to that mansion? If you get back on, I can take you to the next crossing. There our ways will separate."

Sophie and Michael agreed and climbed back onto the top of the pile. The horse set off again, making the cart swing slightly. Michael told everything to Sophie as a short summary, pointing out that they would also have to find Howl so that the wizard would not keep looking for Sophie in vain. But Michael could see Sophie was not in the best condition, and he figured out they had better go straight to the castle. He could go looking for Howl afterwards.

Once they arrived at the crossroads, the old man made the horse stop again. Sophie and Michael descended, uttered many words of gratitude to the man, and then headed for the mansion while the cart was turned in another direction. They were not particularly far away from the mansion, but Sophie could not walk remarkably fast. Michael offered to help her, but Sophie declined politely, knowing that it would be faster to limp by herself.

Eventually they reached the familiar drive, and picking up the pace, they walked to the end of it. Michael opened the door and held it open for Sophie, who thanked him and stepped inside. Having crossed the threshold, she got startled by Calcifer, who had plunged from the hearth over to the door immediately when he had heard it open.

"Sophie!" the fire demon called out in a happy tone. He did not sound relieved, merely delighted. "I knew you were alright. That's just how you are."  
Without giving Sophie a chance to respond, Calcifer headed back to the grate. Sophie, who was still bewildered by the sudden fright, walked further into the castle room and went to sit down on the stool in front of the grate. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, trying to relax at last.

Michael closed the castle door and walked closer to the grate, though he seemed to be eager to leave again. "We really need to go find Howl. Calcifer, do you feel better already? You could find him faster than I could, right?"

The fire demon looked thoughtful. "Yes, I could, I guess," he answered. "Oh well, I had some logs already. Perhaps I should go." Having said that Calcifer disappeared into the chimney.

Michael's gaze had followed the blue teardrop-like shape rocket up, but then he turned to look at Sophie. "I assume I should go help him, just in case, and just to be fair. Will you be alright by yourself?"  
"Certainly," Sophie answered and stood up carefully. "I'll just go tidy myself."  
Michael nodded and headed for the door. "Very well." He was just about to take hold of the door handle when the door flew open, making Michael back away in shock. Sophie got slightly startled as well, though she had not been in danger of being run over.

Howl was standing at the door, breathing heavily. Completely ignoring Michael, he strode over to Sophie. Having reached her he wrapped his arms around her tightly and gasped: "Oh Sophie…"

Sophie, feeling totally confused, could not even hug Howl in return as the wizard was crushing her against his chest so hard. Sophie could feel his heart bounding so heavily that it implied he had been running as fast as he could.

Eventually Howl loosened his grip and pulled away a little to give Sophie a chance to breathe. However, he kept his hands on Sophie's shoulders and examined her with his eyes. He still looked quite worried, although he could see that Sophie was nearly intact.

Calcifer had sailed inside on Howl's trail and had returned to the grate with a slightly smug smile on his face. Michael had—after recovering from his shock—closed the door and come to the middle of the room. Sophie looked Howl in the eyes and said:  
"I could… go get cleaned up and treat my wounds."  
She turned towards the bathroom, but was stopped by Howl's question:  
"Do you need help?"

Sophie was surprised and confused. She was about to change her clothes and all, and the question made her feel uneasy. She turned to look at Howl, who had obviously realized what he had said as he seemed slightly embarrassed.

"I mean…" the wizard muttered, turning to look away. He made a strange movement with his hand, as if he had been shaking something out of his sleeve. Then, holding out his hand he passed a small jar to Sophie.  
"For your wounds."

Sophie took the jar and eyed it with a questioning expression on her face. The handwritten label said "salve", which certainly did not tell much. However, she assumed Howl knew what he was offering.

"Thank you," Sophie said and turned around in order to go to the bathroom. Howl's words prevented her once again.  
"Please, come to my room when you are done," Howl said without looking at her.  
"Alright," Sophie agreed, although she felt exhausted and sleepy, even slightly sore.

Having been to the bathroom Sophie headed for her cubby hole to change into her nightgown. Then she sat down on her bed and opened the jar Howl had given. Its contents smelled quite bad, but after only a moment of hesitation Sophie spread some salve onto the scratches in her arms. The ointment stung, and Sophie almost wanted to go wash it away. Her wounds had not been bad at all, and contrary to the so-called cure, they did not even hurt.

She sighed and closed the jar, deciding that she would put up with the stinging sensation. Then, she headed upstairs for Howl's room. Her ankle hurt with each step she took, and she would have liked to turn around and go back to her cubby hole to sleep.

Once she arrived at the closed door of Howl's bedroom, she knocked on it gently and waited for an answer. She had to try hard to hear anything, but she thought she heard a low and silent voice say "come in". Thus, she opened the door carefully and peeked in.

Howl was sitting on the chair next to his bed, slumped in a position that seemed slightly uncomfortable. He was staring ahead with glassy eyes, though a small gesture he made with his eyebrows implied that he had registered Sophie's arrival. Sophie, feeling uneasy and uncertain, closed the door behind her and carefully walked closer. Before she reached Howl, he said:  
"Please make yourself comfortable."

Since Howl was sitting on the only chair which was not loaded with stuff, Sophie sat down on his bed. Howl straightened himself up and reached out his hand, taking hold of Sophie's arm carefully. He examined the scratches quietly and then said:  
"The salve should help them recover rapidly, and without leaving any marks on your skin."  
His voice was silent and serious, and it made Sophie feel strange. She could not see why Howl was so down, as there was probably no reason for such anymore. On the other hand he had been acting particularly strange for some time already—actually ever since he had got his heart back.

Sophie could not ponder over Howl's behaviour for too long since the silence was broken by his words:  
"I wish I had been able to save you…"

The words confused Sophie a little, and she replied:  
"But… I am safe."

Howl raised his sight from Sophie's arms to her eyes.  
"Fortunately," he began in the same silent voice. "…but I was still unable to save you."

Sophie bit her lower lip. Howl's logic seemed somehow absurd. She could not look at the issue from that point of view. She knew Howl had been looking for her and it was enough. He had probably done his best. What did it matter that Michael had found her first?

"In other words…" Sophie said after a while. "It would have been important that you had been the one to save me."  
Howl did not say anything, but he did not deny anything either. His reaction—or the lack thereof—began to annoy Sophie. She probably interpreted Howl horribly wrong, but she could not help feeling slightly offended.

"So… saving me would have been important to boost your self-confidence," Sophie said then. Her voice was rather cold already, and without thinking much, she turned her back on Howl. The more she thought about it the more defiant she felt, and therefore she crossed her arms on her chest and refused to turn to look at Howl.

Sophie's reaction was efficient, and it made Howl regret his words. Seeing Sophie turn her back on him left him with an aching heart. He moved to sit on the bed next to Sophie and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"I did not mean that," he said, although he knew his words came a bit too late. And he knew his cowardice had prevented him from explaining everything earlier.

Sophie did not say anything, nor did she react to Howl's hug. She was too proud to stop pouting so soon, and she wanted to hear Howl's explanation before she would even consider forgiving him.

"I only want to do my best to prevent such things from happening to you," Howl continued after a brief silence. "I would have wanted to find the lubbock before it found you."  
Sophie remained silent, though she wondered whether Michael had told Howl about her encounter with the creature—which was obviously called a lubbock—while she had been in the bathroom.

"You've made me so vulnerable," Howl added after a while. "When I got my heart back, I realized how fragile it was. It would be shattered if something happened to you."

Sophie stayed silent. She realized she could understand Howl's reasons, and she could even accept them, but it was simply not easy for her to stop acting angry so soon.

"You can call me selfish," Howl whispered in Sophie's ear. Then, he placed a very light kiss on her neck below her ear, and another one a bit lower.  
"…for wanting to protect my heart from breaking into pieces."

When Howl still got no reaction from Sophie, he paused for a while. He wondered whether she was seriously angry, and he would have liked to ask, but he probably did not dare to. Instead, he decided to resort to the same methods he had already used, though taking them a step further. He took his fingers to trail along Sophie's bare arm softly, while his other hand travelled down her side. He placed more butterfly-kisses on her neck before he whispered:  
"May I make your pain go away?"

Sophie could no longer keep pouting. However, she answered in a slightly cold voice:  
"If there is no spell for a cold, is there one for bumps and bruises?"

The hand that had been wandering about on the skin of Sophie's arm moved over to her jaw while Howl whispered in response:  
"I'm not talking about magic."  
He did not give Sophie a chance to argue as his hand took hold of her chin and turned her head enough so that he could press his lips against hers. For a while it felt like Sophie had wanted to back away, but then she relaxed, clearly stopping all attempts to pull away from the kiss.

Sophie could only curse Howl in her mind. It annoyed her to a great degree that the wizard had not even used any magic on her, yet he had made her give in so easily.

After a while Howl broke the kiss, as if he had just remembered something. And he had, and thus he took his hand into his pocket and pulled out the broken necklace he had found.  
"This is yours, isn't it?" he asked, holding the chain in front of Sophie's eyes.  
Sophie blinked.  
"Oh, it is. It must have snapped somewhere today."  
Howl nodded and put the necklace back into the pocket.  
"I'll fix it tomorrow."  
"Where did you find it?" Sophie asked, being quite sure that the creature had broken it when it had ripped her clothes.  
Howl leaned closer to Sophie, and when his lips were only a few inches away from hers, he whispered:  
"Don't think about it now."  
Sophie's attempt to repeat her question was silenced by Howl, who kissed her again and carefully pushed her down on her back.

And Sophie could not resist, and she realized she did not even want to. Whatever Howl was doing was efficient to take her thoughts off her sore ankle and the bump on her forehead. And more than that, she felt desired, with each kiss placed on her neck, and with each shiver that went down her spine. And she could not be afraid, not even when more and more of her skin was exposed to the gentle air of the room. And as Howl's hands were roaming on her bare skin, she could only feel secure in his embrace.

And soon Sophie could hardly remember that she had even injured herself. When Howl eventually lay down next to her, breathing heavily, and pulled her against his sweaty, bare chest, the terrors of the day seemed nothing but a distant memory.

*

Sophie opened her eyes slowly. For a while she could not remember where she was, but it did not take her long to realize it. She was lying in Howl's bed, having spent the whole night there. It felt particularly warm and safe under the covers, in Howl's embrace. She could feel the wizard's bare chest against her back, as well as his arm that was wrapped around her. She was also delighted to notice that she could not feel any pain, not in her head, in her arms or ankle. She felt simply good and comfortable.

She shifted a little, trying to turn around towards Howl. Her movements obviously woke up the wizard, who also opened his eyes slowly. For a while they merely looked each other in the eyes, until Howl began to smile slightly, making Sophie do the same.

"How do you feel?" Howl asked in a silent voice, stroking Sophie's back with his hand.  
"Fine," Sophie answered, still with a faint smile on her lips.

They remained silent for quite a while, lying still, though Howl kept stroking Sophie carefully. Sophie closed her eyes, enjoying her sensations. But then, a thought crossed her mind, and she could not think how indiscreet she might be by taking up the subject.

"Howl," she said, without opening her eyes. "Why have you been so strange lately?"  
Howl seemed not at all surprised by the question, but he asked in a neutral tone:  
"Strange?"  
Sophie snorted.  
"Don't try to claim that you have been yourself. With all that strange behaviour, with the fuss about not being able to save me… with that hair colour… you certainly are not being yourself."

Howl pondered over Sophie's words before he said:  
"I thought you said you liked this colour."  
Sophie snorted again. "We are not talking about colours here!" The conversation had made her feel frustrated in a fraction of a second, though she did not yet feel angry. But she had felt insecure ever since the day she had broken Howl and Calcifer's contract, and the illusion of security she had when she was in Howl's arms was not enough to make her believe everything was alright.

"For real," Sophie began in a slightly pleading tone. "I want to know what you are up to! You have been so strange, distant and confusing since you got your heart back. And I don't believe it was your heart that changed you. It can't have been that. But suddenly you are ignoring your daily beauty routines and acting strange and getting down over things that do not matter that much and… what not. Tell me what made you do all that!"

Howl seemed to feel quite uneasy. He turned to look away absently, remaining silent for a while before he answered:  
"You did."

Sophie felt like she had been accused of something. Whatever it was, she did not want to think she had done it on purpose. She kept staring at Howl intensively, expecting him to continue.

Howl glanced at Sophie out of the corner of his eye, but her gaze made him feel unsure enough so that he closed his eyes instead.

"I already said I wanted to protect myself from heartache," Howl whispered. "I wanted to earn your trust. I knew I needed it." He paused, but did not open his eyes. "I guess you hated that vain, complacent, selfish coward."

It took Sophie a while to take in Howl's words. After a while she snorted yet again and said:  
"I do not want you to try to be something you are not. I want you to be yourself, whatever it comprises."

She really meant what she said. She did not really care about Howl's hair colour or other petty things. On the contrary, she thought she had got to see the real Howl already. It was most likely what he had been like for most of the time she had known him—the man who was never particularly heartless, yet always just enough wicked. Not perfect, but perfectly unique.

"Besides," Sophie started after a long silence. "That vain, complacent, selfish coward was the one whom I fell for."

Another silence followed Sophie's words. She realized what she had just said, and she blinked, and then felt how her cheeks got slightly red. She was just about to start explaining something—although there was probably nothing to explain—when Howl said:  
"Thank you."  
He shifted and placed a light kiss on Sophie's forehead before sitting up. He took his hand to brush a few strands of hair behind Sophie's ear as he continued:  
"That was exactly what I needed to hear."

And he smiled, looking particularly happy. Sophie could not say anything as her embarrassment had paralyzed her. She just watched how Howl stood up and headed for the door, disappeared into the hallway and obviously descended the stairs. For a while Sophie wondered what had just happened, but she got an answer very soon. Familiar words from downstairs reached her ears.  
"Calcifer, hot water for my bath!"  
And then Sophie knew Howl had returned to normal.


End file.
